The Squawkery

Every Cowgirl Needs a Horse

2012-01-24T11:52:00.000-06:00

Weight loss success for the week

2012-01-23T13:25:00.002-06:00

My weight was down substantially this week, not because I worked out every day but because I kind of starved myself. I only had time to make it to the gym twice so I was very cautious about what I ate all week. Then of course, I ate like a crazy women after my weigh-in yesterday.

The most challenging part for me this week will be that I am going out to eat 3 times: one dinner and two lunches. It's going to be hard for me to make wise choices once I get to the restaurant. My attitude in restaurants is generally "what the heck." I eat what I want and then feel guilty about it later.

How do you handle "mindful eating" when you are in a restaurant? What tricks do you use to make healthful choices when there are so many yummy, fattening things to chose from on the menu?

Stop Mindless Eating

2012-01-17T15:03:00.004-06:00

I received the February issue of All You Magazine last week and found one of my New Year's Resolutions staring me in the face: "Stop Mindless Eating," easy tips to help you regain control and shed pounds.

I couldn't find an online version of this article so in case you don't subscribe to All You (and if not, you should because it's awesome), here's the highlights:

Mind your munching - I'm totally guilty of this. I can eat a whole jar of candy while I'm working and not even realize what I've done it until it's too late and the jar is empty.
Beware of the health halo - just because it's organic doesn't mean it's not fattening.
Build a better pantry - Exchange mixed nuts for shelled pistachios; nix cola for seltzer; eat fig bars instead of jelly donuts, etc. All fairly common sense but All You's beautiful chart can be placed on your fridge as a friendly reminder of what not to eat. And if you just don't have that stuff in your house, you won't have a chance to eat it anyway. Thanks to this section of the article, I cleaned out my fridge on Sunday and got rid of a lot of tempting and fattening food. Now, to tackle the pantry. Ugh!

It's a nice article and worth the cover price if you don't have the magazine.

Happy mindful eating (and spending - which is also covered in this issue as well : )

Nothing mindful about the 3.5 pounds I gained this week

2012-01-15T08:50:00.002-06:00

Ugh! This past week was not a good one for mindful eating. I had a company dinner to attend, not to mention 3 days in the office eating cafeteria food, a Bat Mitzvah lunch on Saturday and dinner out with friends on Saturday night.

You might say this was a "what the heck" kind of week for eating. And it showed when I climbed on the scale this morning.

Instead of continuing my trend of losing 14.5 pounds since starting my weight loss/exercise program in July 2011, I gained 3.5 pounds, which is my biggest weight gain yet. Apparently saying "what the heck" before diving into a big plate of food and dessert is not good for losing weight.

I'm feeling rather awful about myself this morning and have to face it by participating in a 2 1/2 hour Zumbathon this afternoon.

Here's to hoping this week will be a better one for mindful eating, spending and everything else!

New Year's Resolutions for 2012

2012-01-12T18:06:00.003-06:00

I was fortunate enough to be on vacation with my daughter during the holidays. We were both off (work and school) for 2 weeks. Getting back into the swing of things has not been easy for both of us, hence the serious lack of posting on this blog.

I'm not one for making New Year's Resolutions because I know I'll never be able to live up to them, but there are a couple of things that have been weighing heavy on my mind, and I'd like to make some improvements. So I decided to give the resolution thing a try this year. And I'm told that if I write down my goals, I'll have a better chance of keeping them so here goes:

1. Mindful Eating - In general, I eat way too much and most of what I eat isn't very healthy. Orthodox Jews have a "rule" they follow that involves saying a blessing before they eat anything. Every type of food has it's own blessing so it's not as easy as just saying one general blessing for all kinds of food. You have to really be mindful of what you're eating and select the appropriate blessing. Now I'm not going as far as memorizing and saying these blessings but I am going to strive to be more aware of the food I eat. Is that chocolate bar really worth the calories or could I get by with carrots instead? I've been practicing this mindful eating for a few weeks now and while I've had good days and bad days (yesterday was a bad day), I have noticed a difference in my weight. I'm liking it.

2. Mindful Spending - I general, I spend way too much money and the things I buy aren't much healthier than the food I eat. In fact, I can blow through a bunch of money in no time and not even recall what I spent it on. I hate this about myself and want to change it. So as with the awareness about what I'm eating, I'm also applying this rule to what I buy. I was in Marshall's a few days ago and had a cart full of stuff. Before I went to check-out, I took a serious look at everything in my cart and decided I didn't really need any of it. So it all went back to the shelves. I left the store feeling great instead of guilty about spending too much money on stuff I didn't need. And I never pined for the items afterwards. As with the eating, I have good days and bad ones. Today was kind of a bad day that I don't want to discuss but hopefully tomorrow will be better and my bank account will start to see the difference just like my weight.

How about you? What New Year's Resolutions have you made? Are you sticking with them? Any advice for me?

Happy 2012!

Harry's Law covers touchy adoption vs. birth parents case

2011-12-05T10:28:00.002-06:00

We were catching up on our Harry's Law episodes last night. One of the episodes was about a family from China whose second born child was stolen from them by the Chinese government and then put up for adoption. They had been searching for their daughter for 4 years when they finally tracked her down in Ohio where they hired Harry's Law firm to help them get the child back. The child had been with her adoptive parents, who thought they had legally adopted the little girl (they had paid an agency $30,000 for the child) for 4 years. The adoptive family had been told the child's birth parents were dead.

In the end, the judge sided with the adoptive family saying it would be detrimental to the child to take her from her American home and give her back to her real parents in China. Seriously?

I'm so angry about this outcome for so many reason.

First, if you are the family who adopted a child and then found out later that the child really wasn't yours and that her birth parents are actually alive and have been searching for this child for years, wouldn't you at least consider giving the child back to them?

Secondly, I feel so horrible for the birth parents because ... the little girl is their child and they have just been told by an American judge they can't have her back.

OK, OK I know it's just a TV show but it really pushed so many of my buttons and I can't stop thinking about it. Thinking about how I'd feel if the same thing happened to me - if someone took Zoe from me, adopted her out to someone else and then 4 years later told me I couldn't have her back. I also can't stop thinking about how it would feel if I was the adoptive parent. I have this child that I know really belongs to someone else. Someone else who desperately wants her back. I'm attached to the child and love her very much but it would always be in the back of my mind that she wasn't truly my child. I think I'd feel like an awful, selfish person if I kept her.

What would you do?

What treasures are hiding in your coat pockets?

2011-12-04T19:39:00.009-06:00

I have a lovely black velvet coat that I wear, mostly in the winter months, for special, dress-up occasions.

Last night was my first winter dressy occasion of the year so I happily pulled my beautiful coat out of the closet. I love that thing and since it only sees the light of day (or glow of the night which is usually the case) a few times a year, I feel like it's new each time I wear it.

Last night on the way home from our party, I noticed there was something bulky in my coat pocket. And went I started digging for the source, I found this cute little hippie duck. Since I haven't worn this coat in a year, I really can't remember when or where said duck climbed on board (I suspect alcohol might have been involved), but I had to laugh when I discovered it nestled in my favorite coat. Maybe he decided the coat was totally awesome and worth living in all year long.

May this holiday season bring you peace, joy and fun surprises in all of your coat pockets.

Disney Pin Trading is my latest addiction

2011-11-29T11:52:00.005-06:00

As is usual for me on the heels of any trip to a Disney park, I'm currently obsessed with Disney Pin Trading. It is such a fun activity to participate in at the parks and since all 3 of us (me, hubbie and daughter) love pin trading, we can spend hours looking at our beautiful pins and reminiscing about where we got each one.

However, during our last trip, we were having trouble finding any Disney cast members to trade with (I'm blaming the filming of the Christmas Parade) so we branched out and attempted to trade with other park visitors. We were successful with making trades with a couple of folks but mainly we learned about the dreaded scrappers - pins that are not authentic Disney but cheap knockoffs made to look like the real thing.

Since this discovery, I've been totally paranoid about pins and am afraid to order anymore from ebay for fear I'll get scrappers. So, as part of my addiction, I've been researching ways to get real Disney pins cheap or even free if possible. A few days ago, I discovered a 2 pin set on DisneyMovieRewards.com that could be purchased using 975 of my movie rewards points. I just happened to have 1150 points so I happily redeemed the majority of them for the free pins. I didn't especially love the pins but I do love that I'm adding to my collection of pins we can trade during our next visit to a Disney park.

The pins arrived quickly and I was so excited because they were really beautiful. Then I happened to be on the movie rewards site and saw that they are now offering another 2 pin set (see photo). Darn it, I love those (free) pins and I only have 150 points left ... no where near the 975 needed. Also part of my obsession, I started thinking of what movies I could buy to get more points. And then I had a light bulb moment. I already had tons of Disney movies long before I joined Disney Movie Rewards. I wonder ... could I redeem those for points?

I started going through our stacks of movies and believe it or not, I found enough "magic codes" in movies that I had not yet redeemed to add up to more than 1000 points. OK, I know I'm a total dork but I've been on a two-day high since discovering this somewhat free money and yes, I've already redeemed the points for the pins pictured above.

How about you? Are you using your Disney Movie Rewards points for Disney Pins? If so, what pins have you gotten so far? How often do they feature pins as a reward?

When parents behave badly ... please talk me off the ledge!

2011-11-21T10:44:00.003-06:00

Every Saturday, my husband and daughter walk to synagogue with our neighbors. They have lots of children but one of the daughters is the same age as Zoe and in her class. Zoe really loves this little girl and is asking for a play date with her almost every day. Some days when she goes over to see if the girl can play, the mom says yes but more times than not the mom says no and then both little girls are very sad.

Last week on Saturday, we saw the family walk past our house without stopping to see if we were ready to walk to synagogue. Zoe freaked out and ran out the door chasing them. This past Saturday, we saw the family do the same thing and as usual, Zoe ran out after them. During the walk, Zoe and the other little girl started being mean to the little sister, saying they didn't like her and she couldn't play with them. The Father got very angry and blamed this behavior on Zoe. He said his daughter NEVER acts this way toward her little sister unless Zoe is around and he thinks it's best and Zoe doesn't come around anymore or walk to synagogue with them.

Needless to say, the hubbie was very upset and then when he told me, I was very upset and while I tried to keep it to myself, I did break down and tell my sister in law and another friend yesterday ... there were also very upset.

We talked to Zoe about it and were as honest as we could be without upsetting her. We also told her that she should not ever have to "chase" anyone to get them to be her friend ... a lesson I wished I'd learn at age 5.

Neil also talked with one of Zoe's teachers this morning to ask if she is one of those kids who is a bad influence on others ... does she get them to behave badly or do things they shouldn't. The teacher ... the same one who told she was having problems getting Zoe to sit still ... said Zoe never influences others to behave badly. She said there are kids who do that and Zoe isn't one of them.

So now we've come to the conclusion that this family either just doesn't like Zoe or us or both and they are just using this as an excuse and while I'm furious about the situation, I'm also sad that these 2 little girls, who really like each other, will no longer be able to play together.

Have you ever experienced something like this before? If so, how did you handle it?

How people react to hyperactive children

2011-11-18T08:23:00.005-06:00

A few weeks ago, we had a parent teacher conference with one of Zoe's 3 teachers. She sang her praises and said she is learning so much so quickly. We were thrilled and relieved by the report.

But yesterday, we met with another of the 3 teachers and got a completely different report. This teacher focused less on the learning and much more on the fact that Zoe can't sit still in class and she is a disruption for the other students. She is always in motion. "We haven't found anything that will calm her down and get her to be still," she said.

This information is nothing new to us. Zoe has been at the same school since she was 3 months old and we've gotten the same story from each teacher - she can't stop moving. She is very hyper. You might want to consider ADHD. Some teachers handle Zoe's behavior better than others. Some love her energy. Others had no patience for her and think she is not listening and not being still on purpose.

It's been interesting over the years to see which teachers react which way. I think my first bad experience with this behavior was in a ballet class. That particular teacher was just plain mean to Zoe. She was always yelling at her and I even saw her grab Zoe by the arm during a recital and drag her behind the stage to discipline her. It wasn't long before Zoe was crying before ballet class and refusing to go.

Next was a drama class and also a gymnastics class. In the gymnastics class, the teacher was always calling, emailing or meeting with us in person to try to force us to force Zoe to behave, be still and focus. I always dreaded it when I saw emails from her. I knew it was never good so I braced myself for the beating I was going to take on behalf of my "high energy" daughter. Needless to say, she is no longer in gymnastics.

It's funny to me that these teachers, people who are supposed to be trained to work with children, don't understand that hyperactive children can't always be FORCED to behave.

How about you? Do you have a hyperactive child? What techniques have you tried to encourage your little whirlwind to calm down and relax? Have you resorted to ADHD meds or are there other more holistic things that work well too?

Nothing worse than a Tattletale

2011-11-17T14:57:00.003-06:00

My daughter's teacher emailed me yesterday afternoon to tell me about Zoe's less-than-great day. She said the day had started off with Zoe hitting Abby during circle time and had gone down hill from there. She ended by saying that there was no way to get Zoe to be still and that she was spinning around like a tornado over and over again for most of the day.

When I picked Zoe up after school, I asked her about her day and said I'd heard things didn't go so well.

"I don't want to talk about it," she said.

"That's fine. We'll go to horseback riding and then afterwards, I'll take you out for dinner at your favorite restaurant but we have to spend the first 10 minutes discussing your day. Is that fair?" I asked?

"10 minutes! That's such a long time," she cried.

"Well that's the deal," I said.

She finally agreed so when we made it to the restaurant and ordered our food, I opened by saying, your teacher sent me a note telling me you hit Abby and that you couldn't sit still for the entire day. Can you tell me what was going on?

"What? Miss Jennifer told on me? Ugh! I can't believe she told on me! That's not nice!," she said.

And the poor little thing truly was disgusted by the tattletale ways of her teacher. Apparently it's not appropriate for anyone to tattle ... even grown people.

Laughing at Wall Street Offers Simple Investing Advice

2011-11-14T12:25:00.008-06:00

I was recently given the opportunity to read a new book by Chris Camillo called Laughing at Wall Street. I started reading the book while I was on the plane headed from Dallas to LA. I won’t lie, I felt I had to read the book since I was sent a review copy, but I was dreading it in a big way. I’ve tried to read investing books in the past and my eyes generally glaze over at about page 2.

I was pleasantly surprised to discover that Laughing at Wall Street was truly different. By the time I landed at LAX, I was on page 130 of 220 and had not been bored or confused once. Chris writes in a fun and easy-to-understand way and by the time I got off the plane, I was excited about the possibility of actually being able to do some investing on my own.

The basic premise of Chris’ theory is this: There are lots of game-changing “next big things” out there that you can spot on your own long before the tycoons on Wall Street ever know these products/services/companies exist, and if they do know they exist; they don’t think these things are important enough to invest in (Remember all the poo pooing analysts did when the iPhone first came out? But users LOVED the iPhone and became instant groupies).

Examples Chris gives include Crocs and Uggs (I’m sorry but who didn’t think those things were ugly when they first came out?) and Guitar Hero among others. He says it’s the products and services that soccer moms and kids love and buy like crazy that will change the game in the future and are therefore the kinds of things you should be investigating and possibly investing in. And if the analyst hate these products/companies but the consumer can’t get enough, you might definitely have found a winner.

The best part is that Wall Street doesn’t pay much attention to these mom- and kid-related products/services so you’ve got a better chance of investing in them first before they become popular (or expensive). And when Wall Street does realize the hotness, you’ll be way ahead of them.

I will admit that around chapter 9 when Chris started talking about Market and Limit Orders, Call Options and Option Contracts, I started feeling some of that familiar investment eye-glazing kicking in so if I do decide to give his recommendations a try, I’ll have to reread the last few chapters and take some good notes but overall, it’s an easy read.

Plus, I was fortunate enough to meet Chris during BlogWorld and he seems like an all-around, down-to-earth, good guy so buy his book, give it a read and let me (and Chris) know what you think. And if you’ve already got your eye on a product or service that you think might be the next big thing, let me know that as well. Maybe we can follow Chris’ process to investigate and invest together. Happy hunting.

P.S. Also, I wouldn't mind a “Cheat Sheet” insert in the book that outlines the step-by-step process so I could tear it out and hang it by my computer as a daily reminder/cheat sheet. Just a thought for future versions.

Resources for ordering and more information:

Laughing at Wall Street (amazon.com)
Laughing at Wall Street (Barnes & Nobel)
Laughing at Wall Street/Chris Camillo (Web site)
BlogHer information on Laughing at Wall Street

What is that thing doing out?

2011-11-11T08:02:00.000-06:00

My daughter, who is 5, had a play date after school recently with a friend who has a little brother. At one point during their time together, the little brother came running out of the bathroom, and he was completely naked.

Zoe's response: "What is that thing doing out?"

I just hope she remembers that when she's 16 and some boy tries to get fresh with her!

Oops! I didn't mean to send that email to the "all" distribution list

2011-11-10T18:05:00.001-06:00

Every few months, someone in my company accidentally sends an email to the "everyone in the company" distribution list. Said company has something like 350,000 employees so the "all" distribution list has a huge reach.

One such email went out today from a poor, unsuspecting lady who simply said "Test" in the subject line. I don't know the sender but as soon as I saw her email, I knew we were in for it. The rest of the scenario played out something like this starting with the first "reply to all"

What is this a test for? Am I supposed to be on this email?

OK, got it.

Thanks, got it.

Why am I getting this email?

Um, OK I got it. I guess the test worked.

What is this test for? Why am I getting this?

Got your email and will everyone PLEASE stop "Replying to all"?

I don't care if any of you got the test of not. Stop replying to all.

Got it. Test worked.

Test Failed.

STOP REPLYING TO ALL! YOU ARE SPAMMING MY INBOX!

Why is everyone replying to all?

I think this test might be a failure

Seriously now, please stop replying to all.

Wow, this is the first time I've ever used email. I wonder if I'm supposed to reply to all or not?

Darn it! I've had it. Really! Stop replaying to all.

Got it. Test successful.

This string of emails that was coming in faster than I could delete them finally stopped after about 25 responses, which I think in Direct Mail percentage rates wouldn't be too bad. Either way, it's darn funny to see how worked up folks get about these emails. I think this one should definitely be a Dilbert comic strip : )

Which way is the top sheet supposed to go on your bed?

2011-11-10T14:37:00.004-06:00

Until recently, we had a housekeeper who cleaned for us every other week. I loved having her but it was a luxury we decided we could no longer afford so she was fired and I was hired to take her place. While I'm a poor substitute for our previous housekeeper, I'm trying my best to keep up and do things exactly as she did ... with one exception.

Said housekeeper always put the top sheet on backwards so what I consider the "inside" of the sheet was facing up and when she folded that tiny part at the top down, the "outside" of the sheet would show - but just in that one place. This bed sheet practice of hers always drove me crazy. Why in the world would someone put the bed sheet on backwards just so a few inches at the top would show the front?

Per my hubbie, this is the "correct" way to do the bed sheet so that tiny part at the top does look right when folded down and so you can see the front of the sheet when you cover up with it. Say what?

How about you? Which way do you turn your top sheet when it's on your bed? Inside out or outside in? My curious mind really want to know?

Happy Memories from Blog World & Beyond

2011-11-08T10:08:00.001-06:00

So yesterday I bee-itched a bit about my recent trip to LA but in reality, I had a wonderful time. So to offer a fair balance to the situation, here are a few things I loved about my visit:

BlogWorld was 2 days of fun, education and information-packed sessions. I learned so much about blogging and am so grateful to have attended. And the "people watching" wasn't too bad either. You extra special people know who you are: Guy in kilt spotted on the first day; Girl in batman cape; Dude with the really big fro; Dude with the Mohawk hair-gelled into individual spikes; Lady pushing your dog in a baby stroller and all of you ladies with pink, green, blue and/or purple hair. I tried to Tweet about as many of you as I could. You all rocked.
Laughing at Wall Street - I was honored to be invited to the Laughing at Wall Street book signing party on Friday night atop the very trendy Standard Hotel in downtown LA. It goes without saying that the view was amazing, we met some really great people, including Chris Camillo, author of the book and I got to try out a waterbed housed in a giant red pod. It was a very fun party and as soon as I'm finished with the book (hopefully in a few days) I'll be writing a review and offering up the book to one of my lucky readers via a drawing. Stay tuned.
Disneyland - So any trip to Southern California would not be complete for me without a trip to my favorite place. Yes, I know I was just at Disneyland a few months ago but I can't help myself. It's the happiest place on earth for me and thank goodness my hubbie just goes along with my crazy Disney obsession. We rode all of the rides that we normally can't ride because our daughter is either too small or too terrified to get near said rides. My favs were Space Mountain and Star Tours, which we rode twice. Loved it. And any trip to Disney wouldn't be complete without pin trading. We branched out this trip and started trading with other park attendees. It's a lot more challenging than trading with cast members because attendees are way picky about what they want in exchange but we did meet up with one nice man at the end who had a string of pins just for trading with kids. We got a lovely Cinderella for Zoe and gave him a Sleeping Beauty pin in exchange. Whoever you are nice man, you rock! All in all, we came home with 22 new pins for Zoe that we traded and about 5 that we bought. And let me add that at least some of this pin trading was conducted in the pouring rain ... I'm totally a die-hard when it comes to this stuff.
Hollywood - Believe it or not, I've never been to Hollywood so we took a trip there to visit the Stars ... the ones on the sidewalk ... and to take in the fun of that area. They were getting ready for some big event at the Grauman's Chinese Theatre so everyone was busily getting ready. I even managed to sneak in the Disney store and trade a pin while I was there.
Kosher Food Cornucopia - With only a few hours left before we had to catch a plane, we visited Pico Blvd in downtown LA and were overwhelmed with excitement to find one Kosher restaurant after another. We didn't even know what to do with ourselves. We ended up eating at the Pico Deli and then buying many packages of kosher sausage from Jeff's Gourmet Sausage to bring home with us. And let me tell you, it was way interesting to get 4 1/5 pounds of sausage with ice crammed into our luggage and checked at the airport. When I was going through security, I was flagged to have my hands tested for explosives ... I'm blaming the greasy burger I had for lunch and the sausage.

There were lots of other fun moments during the trip but I've probably bored you enough with my trip slideshow for now.

Have you been on a fun trip lately? What were your best and worst moments?

Observations and weird stuff from my trip to BlogWorld and CA

2011-11-07T09:43:00.004-06:00

I just returned home from a 5 days trip to California (one of my favorite states) to attend the BlogWorld Expo and for a few days of R&R after the conference. I'll write more later about the "happy" part of my trip but today, a few "unhappy" events are on my mind. Nothing like a Monday to share some misery : )

Rain, Rain, Rain! It rained 2 out of the 5 days I was there and was somewhat cold. At least for a Texan. Really? Isn't LA supposed to be sunny every day of the year? I love rain as much as the next guy but enough already. And one of the rainy days found me and the hubbie stomping around Downtown Disney trying to buy princess gifts for our 5 year old. Thank goodness I was smart enough to bring warm clothes and an umbrella with me.
Disney Christmas Parade - When we arrived at Disneyland, we discovered that they were filming a big, ole Christmas parade for a show that will air on ABC on Christmas day. Needless to say, the floats and areas that were roped off for the parade were a bit of a logistical nightmare. You'll probably see me in the show several times making a sour face. Bah, humbug!
Headache on the flight home ... literally. We were seated in the next to the last row right between to very loud engines. The noise was deafening. American Airlines should seriously hand out ear plugs to the passengers who are stuck in those seats, not to mention a largely discounted rate. A poor baby cried for most of the flight, I'm sure because the engine noise was unbearable. I felt like we were in the area only approved for livestock or something. It was truly AWFUL.
Toll tag nightmares - When my Father in Law entered the DFW airport to pick us up last night, he went through the toll tag lane but when we were leaving, he got confused and got in a regular lane to exit where you are required to produce a ticket and pay for your time at the airport. He told the guy in the ticket booth that he would just back out and get in a toll tag lane but said guy was having none of that. We also offered to pay $2.00 for the 30ish minutes we'd been in the airport but he wasn't having any of that either. He proceeded to write us up for "making a mistake" and entering the wrong lane. After about 15 minutes of this mess, the very cranky, rude attendant handed us a $19 ticket for an "Uncollected Parking Fee" all because we made a mistake. When I called DFW customer service this morning to complain, a somewhat rude customer service rep told me I had only been charged $2, not the $19 that was listed on my "ticket." Seriously? Why didn't the rude booth agent just tell us that in the first place and save everyone a lot of anger and grief? DFW Airport, you stink at customer service.

OK, I promise later this week, I'll blog about the really nice things that we did while in LA, but for today, I just needed to get the above off my chest!

Happy Halloween!

2011-10-31T15:52:00.003-05:00

About the only princess costume Zoe doesn't have is Jasmine so this year for Halloween (a holiday we don't celebrate by the way), I got her this cute little Arabian number.

It fits her perfectly and the only missing piece is the shoes ... they were out of her size darn it.

Either way, she looks totally adorable and I'm sure she will have a blast handing out candy tonight to the trick or treaters.

Have a wonderful Halloween yourself and don't eat too much candy!

The 5-year-old girls' motto

2011-10-28T11:48:00.004-05:00

Last night, a neighbor came over for a few minutes and when my 5 year old walked into the kitchen, the neighbor said "Hi, how are you."

Zoe made a weird noise and ran out of the room without saying hi.

Before I could even tell her she was being rude to our guest, she said, "Mom, girls do what girls wanna do."

How could I possibly reprimand her after that logical explanation?

Once upon a child

2011-10-26T12:02:00.002-05:00

I visited a Once upon a child store a few weeks ago and was so excited to find out I could sell them Zoe's baby stuff that is currently just taking up room in my closet. So I loaded up my car yesterday and headed over there around 4:15 with 2 bouncy seats, one of those booster seats that older kids can use at the dining room table instead of a high chair, a play yard and a very cute, barely used bathtub for babies.

I was first greeted by a not-so-nice lady who told me to bring my stuff in and lay it on the counter. I started the process to haul these big items in by myself starting with the play yard that was folded up in it's case. The minute I got to the counter, said mean girl told me I had to put it together. I've never put this thing together in my life so after much begging, she called another store clerk over to help me. Once we got it put together, she told me some pieces were missing so they wouldn't take it. I had to fold it back up and haul it back to my car.

I finally got the other items in only to be told they weren't buying bathtubs and they'd take a look at the other items. I was told to come back in 2 hours. Before I left, I found a book I wanted to buy for Zoe for $2.50 so I left it with the very nice, helpful sales girl (sarcasm)

After I picked up Zoe at class, we headed back to Once Upon A Child only to be told that they weren't interested in the 2 bouncy seats - one because it was missing the dangling toys that hang on it and they ABSOLUTELY won't take anything if some of the parts are missing and the other because it had a stain ... a stain she pointed to but I never could see. So all I was left with was the booster seat/high chair for which they offered me $4.

The kicker is that while we were waiting, Zoe found a My Little Pony mermaid castle that she couldn't live without. Since it was only $7, I figured that I'd definitely make enough money to cover the castle and the book so I agreed to both.

Little did I know I'd wouldn't even be able to cover half of my purchase cost with my sad proceeds. I decided to decline the offer of $4 and just take the booster seat home with me again. I'd rather just give it to someone I know who needs it instead.

The final, final kicker is that when we got home and unwrapped the mermaid castle, some of the pieces were missing! I guess the Once Upon A time sales clerk who agreed to buy that one wasn't so strict about the missing parts policy.

And on top of everything, our baby stuff looks pretty good because it was only used for one child for a few months. When I walked around that store and looked at the items that had for sale, I saw faded material, stains, and lots of wear and tear. I guess the sales clerk who bought those items wasn't so strict either.

I for one won't be going back to Once Upon A Child to shop or sell. Thanks goodness for Craig's List : )

Dads and Divas go to a dance

2011-10-24T15:01:00.006-05:00

Zoe attended her first dance last night with her Dad as her date.

Sadly she didn't have as much fun as we had hoped she would. There were lots of loud balloons popping and other noises that made her cry plus someone hit her in the head with a hoola hoop so all in all, it wasn't a great night.

But the shopping for the clothes and accessories to wear to the dance turned out to be more fun than he actual dance itself ... right down to her hot pink glitter flats.

But hey, She's only 5 and she has already gotten her first dance under her belt.

It can only be uphill from here : )

What "time-sucks" are taking you away from your job?

2011-10-20T16:07:00.005-05:00

It's been one crazy week. I can't even believe it's Thursday already and I'm not even half-way through my work to-do list. I've been amazed (not pleasantly) by just how many time-sucks have occurred this week and interfered with my productivity including:

End of year reviews - The biggest and most dreaded time-suck of all. I had to block off an entire day of my calendar just to update my goals and get ready for my end of year review. I didn't even bother checking email because I knew some request would just distract me from my goal (no pun intended) and I'd never meet my "due by end of day" deadline. And it truly took me all day to research, find metrics and update my goals so I could prove that I'm a worthy worker.
Booking Travel for work - While I'm excited that I'm getting to attend what I hope will be a very interesting conference, I wasn't thrilled about the 2 hours that it took me to make the travel arrangements via a not-so-user-friendly online company travel system. And part of that 2 hours included emails and calls to a very new admin who had never used the system herself as well as a few folks who had. I finally chose to ignore the warnings saying I was going against policy and just booked the darn trip. It's better to ask forgiveness than permission anyway right?
Benefits Renewal - Ahhh, it's that time of year again. Time to choose your healthcare and other misc. options that will see you through the year. Another 2 hours out of my day were spent reading a brochure, registering on at least 2 different Web sites, creating 2 different sets of user IDs/passwords and doing a few Google searches to determine the meaning of LTD Continuation Health Plan. I still never quite figured that one out so I finally gave up and just took it. Better to have more coverage than not enough right?
Network Outage - And this one I feel kind of bad about. We've been having some problems with our Internet access at home so when I couldn't get logged on this morning I suspected our bad connection. The part I feel bad about is that I made my hubbie get out of bed (he's off work today) to see if he could fix the problem. He worked on it for an hour and finally got me signed onto my work network and email but shortly after, I lost connection again. I was so annoyed at our home network until a friend called me from the office to vent about the fact that the entire company's network was down. Hmm, things are making more sense now I thought. So off and on today, I've had connection, I've lost connection, I've had connection, I've lost it. Not a very productive way to get through the work day.

How about you? What time-sucks are keeping you from being productive and/or getting your job done today?

Does Bullying ever really stop?

2011-10-11T14:46:00.002-05:00

I was reading an article in the latest issue of People Magazine about bullying. There are a series of stories from parents of children who committed suicide after being bullied. One of the moms made a statement that stopped me in my tracks. She said being excluded is a form of bullying. I'd always thought of bullying as physical. The kid who beats up another kid for his lunch money or just because. I never thought it applied to me until I read that sentence and then I had an Oprah ah ha moment.

As I mentioned before I was the kid who always go left out of everything. I was purposely not invited to birthday parties and one particular incident that stands out in my head from elementary school involved a C&W song titled "I'm the happiest girl in the whole USA." The leader of the pack started singing that song and when I tried to join in, 2 other girls told me to shut up. "You can't be the happiest girl in the whole USA because Tammy is the happiest girl in the whole USA so stop singing."

I think that might have cinched it for me. I wasn't even allowed to be happy. Nuff said.

Fast forward many years and I'm in the middle of a little bullying situation right now, only we're all grown, in our 40s women. And I didn't even think of it as bullying until I read the People Mag article.

A lady I've been "light" friends with for a few years basically stood me up a few weeks ago. It's not the first time she's done this. She's a bit of a flake but this time it affected Zoe, who didn't take it well at all. It almost broke my heart to see her sad little eyes when she found out her friend wasn't coming and she'd be alone in childcare.

Anyway, when I expressed my frustration to this woman, she pretended she didn't even remember making plans with me and Zoe. And then she preceded to turned a few other women against me so now, when I walk into a room, they start whispering about me.

Now seriously, all she needs to do is say "I'm Sorry" and we'd move past this episode but instead, she has chosen to "bully" me by excluding me from the group and making sure several other folks do as well. Thank goodness the one girl I'm closer friends with from this particular group didn't decide to jump on the bully bandwagon. And the funny part is that it never occurred to me to even talk to anyone else about what happened. But she sure did.

I feel like I'm back in high school again. And it makes me wonder, do bully children grown up to be adults who bully? Does bullying ever end? Should people be focusing some of these anti-bullying programs on adults as well as school-aged children?

Have you ever been bullied as an adult?

Bathroom habits of the Tonkinese Cats

2011-10-10T16:59:00.007-05:00

My 11-year-old Tonkinese cat has his own bathroom. Well, sort of anyway. He and I share a common room known as my office, the laundry room, the guest bath and a small closet where we keep Bailey's liter box. My method for avoiding the cat box smell while I'm working is to keep the door to his bathroom pushed shut just enough that the smell can't get out, but the cat can get in when needed.

He visits his "bathroom" at least once during the day while I'm working. I can hear him scratching around in there and flinging liter all over the place even though he has a cover over his liter box.

But the best part of this bathroom experience is Bailey's dismount.

When he is finished with his business, (he must lean back on his hind legs to make this all possible) he jumps straight out of the liter box, hitting the door on his way out so that is flings open and bangs against the laundry room door. All I see is a white blur (and cat liter flying everywhere) as he dashes past me in a fast flurry.

I have no idea where he is going in such a hurry but it must be important. One of these days, maybe I'll follow him : )

My encounter with a professional fundraiser

2011-10-07T08:02:00.004-05:00

A man who identified himself as a "professional fundraiser" called me yesterday. He told me he was raising money for the U.S. Armed Forced. Just as he was about to go into his script, I interrupted him to say, "I'm so sorry but we can't afford to donate any money at this time."

I expected an "ok thanks anyway," but instead I got a big, ole CLICK in my ear. The dude simply hung-up on me!

Seems Mr. Professional Fundraiser wasn't so professional afterall.

Zoe's debut as Rapunzel

2011-10-04T10:40:00.000-05:00

I recently twisted Zoe's arm to make a video about one of her favorite princesses, Rapunzel. As most of you know, I'm a big ole Disney fan and wanted to enter a contest to win some Disney Princess related things. We got our entry in too late to win the trip to see Rapunzel but we did make it in time for a chance at some other prizes. Check out Zoe's video and leave her a comment if you want:

http://princessmoment.disney.go.com/s/7h3blh

Friendship issues weighing on my mind today

2011-10-03T08:59:00.006-05:00

I was that kid in elementary school who was left out of everything, who was picked last for sports teams and who generally didn't have many (any) friends. There was one girl in particular who was the leader of the popular girl pack. Her name was Tammy. She made it her grade-school career to exclude me from as much as possible.

Needless to say, elementary school wasn't a pleasant time for me and I was sad a lot. My mom, who was doing the best she could, wasn't much help. She'd simply say, "why do you want to be friends with girls who treat you so poorly?" OK so it makes sense but to a 7 year old, it's not very helpful.

Fast foward many years and I have a daughter of my own who I'm terrified will end up being just like me. The fact that she's an only child doesn't help matters because she doesn't even have a sibling back-up as a play date.

I work hard at ensuring she has lots of play dates ... something most of the other parents don't do ... at least they aren't doing it with us. Zoe rarely gets invited to other people's houses for play dates so if I want her to have friends around, I have to proactively schedule these events.

At first I worried that the other kids didn't like Zoe (these are my childhood buttons being pushed for sure) but Zoe is very sweet and likeable so now of course, I'm blaming myself. It must be that the other parents don't like me and that's why they don't want their kids to have play dates with mine (once again, these are probably my childhood buttons being pushed. Past abuses are difficult for me to overcome).

Since we observe the Jewish Sabbath, we have a lot of free time on Saturdays. After Synagogue, there is always a scramble for play dates. A few weeks ago, we ended up taking 3 little girls home with us because after Zoe invited A, B was upset and felt left out so we invited her. Then the same thing happened with K. We didn't want to leave anyone out so we invited all of them. This was the 2nd week A had come home with us after synagogue.

Then the following week, A's mom called in advance to schedule a play date with B on Shabbos. When I found out about it, it pushed my usual buttons: why doesn't she ever call us to invite Zoe over?

This past week. B ended up inviting A over for a Shabbos play date and since there weren't any other little girls at synagogue, Zoe was left out. I felt awful for her. She tried to work her way into the A/B play date but both girls were pushing her out and saying they didn't want her around. And B's mom wasn't trying to change their minds.

I felt so awful. The situation pushed so many of my own childhood buttons. To me girl B became Tammy from my grade school days and Zoe was me ... being left out while the group went off to have fun.

On the way home, hubbie and I were both upset and feeling awful. Hubbie was upset at B's mom for not intervening and for not inviting Zoe home with them since we've had her daughter over many times with a group. I was upset about those same things but also fearful that if Zoe had been invited, A and B would have been mean to her, which to me would have been worse.

I know it's silly but it has been bothering me all weekend and I'm still feeling weird about it today. I still remember how awful it was to be the little girl who got left out of everything and had no friends and I so don't want that hurt and pain for my own daughter.

I apologize of this very long post but if anyone has advice on how to deal with the "friendship" situation from both a parent and child perpsective, I'd love to hear from you.

I think my 5 year old just broke up with her first boyfriend

2011-09-27T14:15:00.006-05:00

For the past two years, Zoe has been telling me of her plans to marry Morty, a 5-year-old boy in her class. She has decided on the number of children they will have - 2 - and also where they plan to live when they get married - Disneyland.

She said I could visit.

Not long ago, I ran into Morty's mom and she mentioned to me that Morty also has similar plans of marriage, only per him, they will live in Philadelphia. I've got nothing against Philly but honestly, I'm pulling for Disnelyland.

Morty and Zoe were lucky enough to be in class together again this year so I assumed the budding romance would continue. But I was wrong.

Last night, Zoe started talking about another man. She asked me if I knew Jake's mother? I told her I didn't. She asked if I could get to know her because she really wants to have a play date with Jake. She said, when I think of Jake, I think handsome.

"Well ok then," I said. "I'll try to get a play date going."

And just as I started wondering about Morty, she said, "Did I tell you about Morty dipping his pretzel into his yogurt?"

"No, you didn't tell me about that," I said.

"Well, he did and then he tried to stick it on his forehead and when it fell off, he ate it," she said.

"That's why I'm not going to marry him anymore," she concluded.

Now there's a girl who knows what she wants and isn't going to put-up with any crap from men!

Do you have a throw-up bowl in your house?

2011-09-22T10:28:00.009-05:00

When Zoe was much younger and had her first stomach virus, I set her up on the couch with a movie, ice chips and a designated "throw-up bowl" just in case she couldn't make it to the bathroom quickly enough ... which she was NEVER able to do.

Last night, my hubbie started complaining that his stomach hurt, which always makes me fear that a round of throw-up is coming and apparently it makes Zoe think the same exact thing.

As soon as the phase stomach pain was mentioned, Zoe ran to the cabinet, got out the special throw-up bowl and took it to her Daddy.

"Now you can lay in bed and won't have to go anywhere if you need to throw-up," she said proudly.

Both sensible and thoughtful for a 5-year-old if I do say so myself.

How about you? Do you have a designated throw-up bowl, or trash can or something, in your house?

Cowgirl makes a mama proud

2011-09-21T10:40:00.008-05:00

Last night at bedtime, my 5 year-old kindergarten cowgirl and I switched roles. Instead of me reading her a book, she read to me. The first selection she chose was Every Cowgirl Needs a Horse by Rebecca Janni and Lynne Avril.

She's totally into horses right now and when I came across this book and another one by the same author/illustrator called Every Cowgirl Needs Dancing Boots, I knew we had to have both for our collection.

We've only read them to Zoe a few times but last night, when she "read" the books back to me, I was totally amazed at how closely she followed each page. I know she just memorized the books, but I couldn't help but think she was actually reading them to me ... and it made me excited for the day when she will read to me!

My only regret is that I didn't have my video camera handy to capture the moment. I'm going to be armed with it tonight at bedtime and we'll see how it goes. Hopefully there will be a repeat performance : )

It's Official! I'm less tired thanks to exercise

2011-09-20T09:46:00.003-05:00

I've been exercising for 11 weeks with little improvement as far as my naked eye can see. But this morning when my alarm sounded at 5:15 to remind me I needed to be at an exercise class by 6am, I only considered skipping the class for about 2 minutes! When I finally did make my way to the bathroom to get dressed, I realized that I actually felt pretty good.

On the drive home after the class, I had to admit that I felt really great. By the time I dropped my daughter off at school and spent 20 minutes catching up with a friend, I noticed it was only 8:30. I felt like a Marine. I'd been awake for several hours and accomplished so much.

There might be something to this exercise thing after all. Thank you Zumba and thank you weight lifting class ... well sort of because I kind of hate that class, but I'll at least give it a pat on the back.

Farts, poop, behinds and 5 year olds

2011-09-16T12:56:00.004-05:00

My five-year-old is obsessed with anything related to her backside.

A few days ago, I accidentally let one (quietly) rip while I was standing in the kitchen. Zoe, who was in the livingroom watching TV, yelled out, "Mommy farted for the first time ever!" Then she danced into the room and sang a little tune about it. And when her father got home, she couldn't wait to tell him the story. And when her grandparents stopped by to visit, they heard about it as well. I'm sure her teacher also now knows that I farted for the very first time ever! At first, I thought it was funny but then it just got embarrassing.

A few days later, she and 2 friends were playing in the backyard and laughing a bit too loudly so I walked out to check on them. They were taking turns pulling down their undies to "moon" each other. Seriously, where do they learn this stuff? We don't walk around mooning each other at home, and I'm guessing neither do the other parents.

And don't even get me started about the number of songs she had made up that involve poop. She can find a way to integrate the word poop into most any song or discussion.

One part of me wants to laugh a lot about all of the backside-related things but the "you must be a good parent" part of me is mortified that my cute, little girly girl's favorite topics are poop and farts.

Is this normal behavior for girls? I mean, I assume little boys talk about this kind of stuff but aren't girls only supposed to talk about princesses and pink candy?

Know-it-alls be advised: You don't know it all!

2011-09-13T10:57:00.005-05:00

I've recently been surrounded by a large quantity of folks with a specific personality trait. You know the ones. Those people who think they know everything there is to know about everything and have absolutely nothing new to learn. These people drive me crazy. And make me very cranky, which will probably explain today's very cranky blog post.

I honestly don't even want to be around people with this know-it-all trait. I just want to run away the minute I recognize this trait. I want to avoid it like the plague. And sometimes I want to punch said person in the face.

This particular urge jumped on me today when I was trying to get a coworker to change the title of his published blog post to include keywords. He refused saying he wasn't going to change something after the fact. Well, if you'd have done it right to start with, we wouldn't be having this discussion but you didn't do it right because no matter how many times I tell you to include the keywords, you ignore me and do it the way you want to do it.

Is this trait caused by insecurity? Are these people so afraid of being wrong that they constantly "pretend" they are right no matter what as to not look bad in front of others or feel bad about themselves? Does it make them feel weak to learn something new? To discover there might be a better way of doing things?

Or do they really just have that big of an ego?

OK, I suppose that's enough venting for one blog post. But really, if you know the answers to my questions, please comment because I'd like to "learn" why these people are the annoying, know-it-all-way that they are! : )

How do you explain dumpster diving to a 5 year old?

2011-09-12T09:43:00.006-05:00

On Saturday evening, we were walking home from a friend's house, and we stopped to look at these two beautiful swans. They live in a lovely pond that is in the center of a condo complex. We visit these swans often, and Zoe has even named them. I honestly think they recognize her when she visits and during this particular trip, they performed an amazing, and what appeared to be well rehearsed, dance for us.

While Zoe was watching the swans, I noticed that someone had thrown out a perfectly nice wicker end table that would be a good addition to my patio furniture. We were too far away from home for me to carry it, but I told Neil I was going to drive the car back when we got home and get the table. And I did.

The next morning, Zoe saw the table on our patio and said, "Is that the table from where the swans are?"

I tell her it is.

"I don't remember you carrying that table home with us."

I didn't, I tell her. I went back afterwards and picked it up.

"Why was that table laying there," she asked.

I tell her it was there because someone decided they didn't want it, and they were throwing it out for the trash pickup.

"Then why did you want it?" she wants to know.

Because it's a nice table and will work great on our patio. What I didn't tell her is that her mommy is cheap and LOVES finding free stuff. She'll figure that part out soon enough.

"So you walked back over there and carried it home?" she asked.

No, I drove the car over there.

"Where did you put the table in the car?" she asked.

In the back of my car.

"Ok now why did you get this table?" she asked.

And the whole conversation started over again. I don't think I was ever able to fully explain to her the terms of dumpster diving ... or in this case ... side-of-the-road diving but I'm sure it won't be long before she is joining me on these journeys. Especially if toys are involved : )

Do you mind being an afterthought when it comes to party invites?

2011-09-06T11:50:00.001-05:00

This morning, I received a party invitation via evite to someone's birthday party. At first I was excited. But then I opened the invitation to see that the party is 2 days from now. Who sends out an invite to a party 2 days before the event?

I was annoyed and immediately started thinking about the scrambling I'd have to do to attend this event: get a babysitter because Neil is out on Thursday nights; possibly cancel my plans to go out tonight since it's difficult for me to go out 2 nights during the week; prep Zoe's lunch/snacks early so I don't have to do it when I get home and the list goes on and on.

Then I started reading the other replies to the evite. Several folks responded yesterday. What? I just got the evite today. A few responded 2 days ago ... 3 days ago ... 4 days ago. OK, so I see what's happened. This evite was actually sent out sometime last week, which makes much more sense ... it just wasn't sent to me ... the afterthought ... until today. Now I'm annoyed for a whole different reason.

Was my name on the "B" list and since some "A" listers couldn't make it, I got invited to fill the gap?

I'm not sure whether to be happy I was invited at all or sad that I was an afterthought.

How would you feel? Would you scramble and make last minute adjustments to go to the party?

Please vote for my cutie's photo!

2011-09-01T08:38:00.003-05:00

I've entered a photo of Zoe from her very fun gymnastics birthday party in a contest where one of the prizes is a Disney trip that both she and I would really LOVE to go on ... you know how much we love our Disney.

If you have a few free minutes, please go to the Balloon Time Put a Face on Fun page and vote for Zoe!

Thanks : )

When marketing people do funny things

2011-08-31T10:54:00.006-05:00

My sister-in-law recently won a free trip to an exotic locale. Since then, I've been entering contests like crazy hoping to cash in on some of her good fortune.

Today, I got an email from a company that will remain nameless asking me to enter their photo contest for a chance to win a trip to the location of my choice. Excellent. Where do I sign up?

I go to said company's web site and the entry form says:

"Snap a picture of a place you'd love to visit and send it to us for a chance to win (I guess) a trip to that place you'd like to visit."

So let me ask you ... if it's a place I'd like to visit ... but I'm not currently visiting that place, how can I snap a picture of that place and submit it?

Do I go to the Internet, look up that place and snap a picture of a picture on the Web? Or maybe get a book about that place and take a picture of the picture in the book?

In the end, I resorted to submitting a picture from my Honeymoon of St. Martin. I loved St. Martin and wouldn't mind going back there again so I might have bent the rules a bit but please don't tell anyone : )

Saying the right thing about infertility

2011-08-26T17:04:00.005-05:00

Our only child started kindergarten this week. I still can't believe she is old enough to attend real school but that's a different post.

Her Father took her to school the first day, and I took her the second day. When we got to the classroom, I found the teacher and walked over to introduce myself since I had not met her the day before.

She was very sweet and we talked a bit about Zoe's personality, likes and dislikes before the teacher asked me the question that EVERYONE who meets me for the first time asks: "Is Zoe your only one or do you have other children?"

Now, this is where I'd normally break out telling my story about years spent on infertility treatments, not to mention $1000s of dollars, etc. but after a brief pause ... and some acceptance of my fate ... I simply said, "Yes Zoe is our only child, we were not able to have anymore."

This sweet, lovely teacher simply touched my arm, looked me directly in the eyes and said, "I'm so sorry."

And then we moved on to the next topic and the ugly, infertility topic was dropped.

It occured to me later when I was driving home that Zoe's new teacher is the ONLY person who has ever made me feel OK about my infertile fate. She showed me she cared by touching my arm, she didn't shy away from the unpleasant topic, she said she was sorry, and I truly believe she meant it, and that was that. No more. No less.

5 pounds down; 7 more to go

2011-08-24T11:54:00.002-05:00

Around 7 weeks ago, I decided I was sick of looking at my fat self in the mirror. I weighed-in, made a note of my current weight and that day's date and set a goal for myself to lose 12 pounds in 12 weeks.

And although I'm 7 weeks in and only down 5 pounds, I'm still feeling OK about the results so far, although I'm not sure where the 5 pounds disappeared from because to me, I still look just as fat as ever.

Either way, I'm celebrating every single pound and going to Zumba as many times a week as I can squeeze in before my deadline of Oct 31.

Anyone else trying to lose weight and want to give me a few pointers? I need all of the help I can get : )

The New Disney Pins Arrive

2011-08-19T16:54:00.006-05:00

Look at all of the great pins the Hubbie managed to score at Downtown Disney! OK, so he didn't really get all of the pins you see in the picture. But he did managed to trade 5 of Zoe's "least favorite" Disney pins for 11 new ones. I'd show you those 11 but they got put on the display board immediately and I don't have the energy to take them off.

He did a great job though. Lots of Princess pins, a few Peter Pan pins, a few Minnie and Mickey mouse ones. Zoe loved all of them and is thrilled to have some new pins. Now if only we could actually go to Disneyland or Disneyworld ourselves! Well, maybe next time.

Are you a Disney Pin collector? If so, what's your favorite one(s)?

Disney Pin Trading from Afar

2011-08-19T08:08:00.003-05:00

My hubbie is in California this week for business. Before he left, Zoe gave him 5 of her Disney pins that she has decided she no longer likes and asked him to trade them for better ones while he was there.

Monday went by without him being able to make a trip to Downtown Disney. Tuesday and Wednesday went by ... no time to go. Finally last night around 11:00 pm my time, he texted me with a picture of the Downtown Disney sign. He was finally there and starting the process to trade pins. He didn't remember what she already had so I took a picture of her pins and sent to him.

Unfortunately by that time of night, most of the good pins are gone but he had a game plan of several places he wanted to go to try to find good pins for Zoe.

When I last heard from him, he had found a Mickey Mouse as a Pirate pin which is perfect for Zoe because she's totally into Pirates right now. I'm not sure what else he found and can't wait to either hear from him this morning or to see the pins he got when he arrives home today.

I love Disney and especially love pin trading so I kind of felt like I was there with him ... wishing I was there with him. I can't wait to see the pin booty he discovered while on his adventure. Isn't he a good Dad? : )

The Smurf Addiction

2011-08-18T16:17:00.008-05:00

I took Zoe to see the new Smurf movie last week. She LOVED it and hasn't stopped talking about it since. On our trip to Arkansas last week, she discovered that McDonalds was giving away Smurfs as part of their happy meals and the obsession began.

Intially, she was just trying for 3 Smurfs because that's how many her friend Joey has. But it wasn't long before 3 just wasn't enough. She needed more. And she really needed Smurfette, which took us about 4 McDonalds to find.

It also wasn't long before I discovered that you don't actually have to buy any food at McDonalds to get a Smurf. You can just pay them $1.50 each and they'll give you the Smurf without the calories. Since we've been home, the Smurf addiction has continued. We now have 10 of the 16 Smurfs. We're still searching for Handy, Baker, Gutsy, Greedy, Hefty and Panicky. So if any of you happened to have one of the above Smurfs that you're willing to give up, let me know : )

Here a few highlights from our Smurf search:

Vanity Smurf: at a MickeyDs somewhere between Dallas and Little Rocks, we stopped for the 1st time to discover the Smurfs. Excitement and joy overflowed. Zoe specifically requested the girl Smurf and the nice lady behind the counter said, sure we have her and handed us Vanity, which in all fairness looks a bit like a girl but he is no Smurfette. Zoe was sad but she took him anyway and off we went. One Smurf down. 15 to go.

Smurfette and a bonus Smurf: The next day after having a wonderful time at the Memphis Zoo, we stopped at a MickeyDs close to the zoo but they had no Smurfettes so we took leave and headed out of town. Somehow along the way, I missed my turn, got very lost and had to cut across several towns to get back to where I needed to be. The good thing to come out of my misfortune? We stopped at another MickeyDs and asked specifically for Smurfette at the drive thru. "Sure, we have that one." But I was skeptical. When we pulled up to the window to pay, they lady took my money and handed us Smurfette. You should have seen Zoe's smile ... ear-to-ear. But then something even cooler happened. When we got to the next window to collect our Happy Meal, we found yet another Smurf in the box ... Papa Smurf. Two for the price of one. And now Zoe had her 3 Smurfs. We were done right? Wrong. The obsession had started.

Grouchy Smurf: Early the next morning, we headed to the local mall and we just had to stop at a MickeyDs on the way. It was at this MDs that I discovered no food purchase was required to buy a Smurf. We came home with Grouchy.

Jokey and Painter Smurfs: On the trip back to Texas, we stopped at yet another MDs only to be told by the woman working up front that they were all out of Smurfs. As she walked back to get our food, a man came up and asked if we had been helped and we told him we had, but we were looking for Smurfs. He went to the back and found lots of Smurfs. We bought Jokey and Painter ... now I wished we had bought everything he had because we're having a bit of trouble finding the last few.

Farmer and Clumsy Smurf: Last but not least, I promised Zoe that we'd stop by a MDs last night if she'd go to babysitting while I took a Zumba class. The first MDs we tried only had 2 Smurfs that we already have. At the 2nd MDS, the lady at the first window said she thought they were out but told me to stay in the line and ask the lady at the 3rd window. That poor woman wanted to kill me. First she thought I was next in line for food because duh, why wouldn't she. I explained what I was told, etc. and she failed to see the humor of my Smurf hunt but she did come up with 4 Smurfs, 2 of which we did not yet have ... Farmer and Clumsy.

Heavy sigh. oh wait, Chef was in there somewhere. I honestly can't remember where we got him. It's been a Smurf whirlwind of excitement at my house the likes of which have not been seen since the days of Beanie Babies.

Are you collecting Smurfs? If so, share your story with me so I won't feel quite so crazy : )

Animal Wednesday comes early thanks to the Memphis Zoo

2011-08-15T13:17:00.008-05:00

Zoe and I recently took a roadtrip to visit grandma. One of our favorite outings during these visits is a trip to the Memphis Zoo. And one of my favorite animals, who I've somehow never seen before at this zoo even though I've been many times is this beauty you see above ... the Komodo Dragon. Zoe swears this big guy can breath fire when he wants to and I think she might be right. He is such a beauty and I'm so glad we stumbled down a different path this trip and found him.

Next up as one of our very favorites is the new baby Giraffe who was just born a few weeks ago. He wasn't outside when we arrived at this exhibit and a nice man who was wondering around in the pen offered to go get this little guy for us. Now you know me and I can't write a post without doing a bit of squawking so I will add here that this nice man was the only nice customer service we experienced at the Memphis Zoo. The zoo is awesome. The customer service is awful. Don't go there expecting to be treated nicely because it won't happen. More on that later.

This picture ia bit difficult to see but Zoe and I spent some time in the bird area stalking cute little blue and yellow birds by attempting to entice them with sticks covered with food. I think most of these guys had eaten their fill but we did manage to get this cute little guy to hang out on our stick for a few seconds ... at least long enough for me to snap a picture.

These are bees. Hundreds and hundreds of bees. Coolest exhibit ever.

My all-time favorite area of the Memphis Zoo is the Panda Exhibit. The temp was just too hot for these little (big) guys to do much more than sleep the day we visited but I was fine with that. Just getting to see them is awesome. Zoe's main interest in this area was the gift shop. She loves the panda souvenirs and couldn't wait to buy one. I was comforted to discover that the same rude sales clerk who was working in the gift shop last year is still working there this year. So nice to be treated with disdaine while spending $16 for a stuffed panda : )

Check out the jokester of a polar bear above. Zoe liked him so much, we had to go back to this exhibit 4 times before leaving the Zoo. He put on quite a show and made you just want to jump in and swim with him ... well sort of.

After a wonderful day at this awesome zoo, we were about 2 steps away from the wide open entrance gate when an attendant yelled at us. "Are you leaving the Zoo?" Well, yes we are and we had a wonderful time. "Well, you can't leave through those wide open doors that you are seconds away from stepping through. You have to walk all the way around me and go out these close gates on the far right and left of the wide open gate you are standing right next to right now."

And don't even get me started about the rude lady at the entrance gate who let a group of us stand in the only open line for about 15 minutes ... in the hot sun ... before stepping out of her booth and blaming us for not knowing that the booth on the other side of us was also open. "We went to that booth and there wasn't anyone in it," said another customer. "Yes there is ... you dumb customer who shouldn't even be bothering me trying to pay money to get into my zoo."

Memphis Zoo, you are awesome but Elvis would be ashamed of your poor customer service. Shame on you!

Russell Brand look alike Yogie Kicks my behind in Flow Yoga

2011-08-10T12:32:00.002-05:00

I'm going out of town for a few days and am trying to squeeze in 4 workouts in 4 days. My workout preference these days is Zuma but the only class I could find last night was Flow Yoga. OK, I can work with this. I practiced yoga for years ... many years ago. How hard can it be?

Oh my gosh! About 10 minutes in, I was looking for the clock. We must be close to the end of the hour right? No way.

And the Russell Brand look alike teacher was like some kind of nutty, Gumby on speed. I almost cried the 12th time he told us to do plank, then this crazy, close to the ground push-up looking pose then upward dog, back to plank, crazy push-up thingie and down dog. I'm not kidding. I gave up and just laid on the floor.

I grossly underestimated my ability to make it through a yoga class. And I can barely move my arms today.

I'm so sorry I cheated on you Zumba. I promise I won't wander over to the dark side of flow yoga again.

Congrats to the winner of The Kid by Sapphire and other misc. things I'm thinking about today

2011-08-08T13:30:00.005-05:00

Winner of The Kid by Sapphire: Congrats to Mim. You are the winner of my review copy of The Kid by Sapphire. Please send me a message on Facebook or email me your info at squawkery@earthlink.net. And when you've finished reading, please let me know what you think!

Real men don't buy breastpumps: Or do they? I'm trying to sell a breast pump on Craig's list. I know it's kind of a personal thing to sell but it's a very expensive one ($300 new) and I only used it for a few weeks so I was hoping someone else would get some use out of it. However, it doesn't seem to be a hit since I've gotten no response until today. A person named Adam emailed asking for my number so he could talk to me about the breast pump. All I can think is ick! Why is a man emailing me about a breast pump? Delete.

The Rude Manicure Experience: Zoe is home with me this week - in between camps - and bored out of her mind. I took her out during lunch to get a mani/pedi. She was so well behaved and sat nicely in the chair while the very sweet lady named Nikki worked on her. The lady who did my pedicure on the otherhand was rude and anti-social. I know I shouldn't let it bother me, but her attitude turned what should have been a fun, relaxing experience into an unpleasant one at least for me. Zoe had a great time.

Zumba rocks! I started taking Zumba classes a couple of weeks ago based on a friend's recommendation and I LOVE it. It's so much fun. I just imagine that I'm dancing in a salsa club and I completely forget it's exercise ... well except for that profuse sweating part.

What's on your mind today?

Night out with the girls or night out with "the girl"

2011-08-02T19:10:00.006-05:00

Tonight is my monthly bingo night. I always look forward to getting together with a bunch of fun woman, eating, drinking and playing numerous rounds of bingo.

But tonight was tricky. Neil had to work late so I would need to get a babysitter for Zoe. I tried to talk her into spending the night with her grandparents but she wasn't going for it so ... I decided to skip bingo. I was kind of sad about it until Zoe and I decided to go out for dinner.

We had so much fun eating and talking and me drinking a happy-hour-priced margarita. Oh and we also colored a bit. Now we're home having movie night - curled up on the couch with Zoe's soft blankies watching Land of the Dinosaurs.

I can go to bingo anytime. This little, sweet girl won't stay little that much longer. I'm loving my night out and in with "the girl!"

Win a free copy of The Kid by Sapphire

2011-08-01T09:37:00.003-05:00

Ladies, don't forget there's a contest going on to win a free copy of The Kid by Sapphire. Go to my post and leave a comment by August 8 for your chance to win. Thanks!

Horse camp (sadly) comes to a close

2011-07-28T15:52:00.005-05:00

Do you remember the cutie pootutie boots we bought for Zoe to wear to horse camp? Well, check out those bad boys in action at the Park Lane Equestrian Center Horse Camp:

Quick, do you have a plumber or AC guy or sprinkler repair person?

2011-07-28T07:48:00.001-05:00

This afternoon, my neighbor called to see if I could recommend a plumber. A water pipe had busted at his house and he was forced to shut off his water and start a quick search for a plumber. We have a plumber that we love but my husband recently lost all of the contacts in his cell phone so we don't have any way of getting in touch with Mo, the plumber. Thankfully said neighbor found a plumber but it would have been easier if he just KNEW a great plumber alraedy and didn't have to call all over town looking for one.

A similar situation happened to us a few weeks ago when our AC quit working on a Friday night, two days before we were leaving for vacation. We too started calling around looking for an AC repair guy and basically took the first name we could get because we were desparate. That recommendation ended up costing us a bunch of money and then a 2nd opinion later revealed that the first guy might not have been so honest.

And there in lies the problem. Most of us don't have a special address book lying around full of contact info for repair professionals that we can call upon at a moments notice. We don't think about repair peeps until we need them. And then it's usually too late and we're too desparate.

Our garage door just stopped working a few days ago and while we don't have a favorite garage repair guy, it's also not an emergency so we're not in a big hurry to get it fixed. Same with our microwave. Broken. Who cares. We'll deal with it when we get around to it.

But for those emergency situations, wouldn't it be great if we just knew who to call right away. Someone honest, cheap and reliable? And don't I sound just like an advertisement for some service that allows me to do just that?

Well, sadly this isn't an ad because I would LOVE to find this service. During my hubbie's search for a garage repair guy, he came across a site called Angie's List that promises just such a service (and I'm sure it really does work) but when he discovered he had to pay to be a member, he said forget it and moved on. It's cheaper to just call the neighbors.

Oh well, thanks for listening to me rant about this topic that has been bugging me a lot lately ... because lots of things have been breaking lately. And while you are here, let me know if you do know of such a service that doesn't cost money to join and is easy and reliable : )

Review of The Kid by Sapphire and Free Giveaway!

2011-07-27T13:51:00.007-05:00

I was recently given the opportunity to review a new book by Sapphire called The Kid. This book picks up a few years after Push (The movie Precious) leaves off. I won't say it was an easy book to read, but I loved the chance to be a reviewer. Check out my review at BlogHer Book Club and leave me a comment.

Also, if you're interested in reading the book yourself, I'll be having a drawing to give away my review copy of The Kid on August 8. I know a lot of you don't leave comments, but this is your chance to connect.

To be entered into my drawing, simply leave me a comment on THIS blog with at least your first name, last initial and I'll post the winner on the 8th with instructions on how to contact me to get your book.

Thanks so much and enjoy!

Cowboy Boots and Sparkly Sneakers

2011-07-20T21:04:00.005-05:00

In the past two days, Zoe has gotten 3 new pairs of shoes. One boring pair of saddle shoes that go with her school uniform and two, over-the-top cute pairs that I wish came in my size.

She's been wanting some sparkly Skechers sneakers for a long time but we haven't been able to find any in her size. Yesterday, we went into the Stride Rite on Northwest Hwy (for you Dallas parents who definitely know that store) and found a whole table piled high with half-priced Skechers. The only pair left in Zoe's size had unicorns on one side and a dangling rose on the other. PERFECT. She wore them out of the store.

Then today, the cutest pair of cowboy boots I've ever seen arrived in the mail just in time for Zoe's horse-riding camp that starts next week. I found these cutie pootutie's by Ariat on clearance at amazon.com and since Zoe wanted red boots like Jessie's from Toy Story, I figured these were close enough. She and I both loved them. The hubbie thought they were a bit weird. But hey, what does he know about cowboy boots anyway.

I'll take some pictures of her at horse riding camp next week so you can see the boots in action. They are gonna look so cute with her red mini skirt : )

We're having a "Lice" of a time. Wish you were here.

2011-07-18T12:54:00.006-05:00

On Saturday, we were invited to a friend's house for lunch. I noticed on the walk there, the family's daughter, who is the same age as Zoe, was wearing Zoe's baseball cap. I didn't think anything of it. Approximately 4 hours later, we walked home with Zoe wearing the same cap.

The next morning, the mom called me to say she had just discovered that her daughter has head lice ... and lots of it. Apparently, the girl had been telling her mom that her head itched and she thought she had lice but the mom didn't pay much attention. They are 5 after all and it's not uncommon for them to tell us crazy things that we brush off and go on about our business.

Sadly, this "story" was true.

Having not experienced head lice in our household, we went a bit crazy. I first got online and looked up all sorts of information about head lice. I found the Ask Dr. Sears site quite helpful in case you happen to need it.

Next, I went to the local pharmacy and had a discussion with the pharmacist. She said to go ahead and use the shampoo just to be safe. I chose Rid Lice Treatment (because I had a coupon for it) and started the tortue process on Zoe. I had to bribe her with candy and new toys and popscicles to get her through it all.

In the meantime, I also left a message for Zoe's doctor. She called back while Zoe had a head covered in "lice-be-gone" shampoo and said it would take 1 - 2 weeks for lice to show up if she did indeed catch them from her friend, but it was probably OK to go ahead and treat anyway, although she wouldn't treat if it were her children ... she'd just wait it out.

In addition, I washed everything in the house that might have possibly been touched by lice. It took all day and about 10 loads of laundry to finish everything. Plus there was some vacuuming and sealing stuffed animals and one bean bag chair in garbage bags to wait the recommended 10 days.

What we didn't do was treat ourselves and now my head is itching like crazy. I had the hubbie check me this morning and he didn't see anything but I'm still itching.

I'm not sure what's worst: 1) Discovering you have lice outright or 2) Finding out you were exposed to lice and might possibly have it in 1-2 weeks.

Do you have any "lice" stories you want to share? : )

Random decisions by the Mommy

2011-07-15T12:47:00.005-05:00

Yesterday when Zoe got home from camp, she immediately started demanding things of me, which is par for the course in my household. "Mommy, please get me strawberry milk." "Mommy, can I have a cheese stick?" "Mommy, I want to watch the Little Mermaid."

And the demands continued in quick succession. My general frustrated response is, "I'm not a freaking octopus. Leave me alone already."

So I'm not winning any mommy-of-the-year award, but during yesterdays overload of demands, I agreed to a few animal cookies and a yogurt drink and maybe even a popscicle then a few minutes later, she was requesting ice cream. The next few hours went something like this:

Me: Sure you can have ice cream. Wait, what? No, you can't have ice cream, you just had cookies and a sugary yogurt drink and a popscicle. No, the answer is definitely no.

Zoe: Mommy, Can I watch Jake and the Neverland pirates?

Me: Sure, that's ok. here's a healthy snack and a show to watch.

Zoe: Two hours, and several TV shows later, Mommy, can I watch ANOTHER Jake and the Neverland Pirates?

Me: Yes. Wait, what? NO! You've just watched 2 hours of TV. That's enough. Now go color or something while I make dinner.

Zoe: Mommy, can I have something from the special treats jar.

Me: Sure. No wait, didn't you have sugar already when you go home?

Zoe: I don't think so.

Me: Hmmm, I really think you did. In fact, I'm sure you had something sugary so the answer is no.

Zoe: You are so mean!

I realized during this exchange that I'm just making random decisions every day that are not based on anything at all. We don't have any set rules in our house about the # of allowed TV hours or the # of allowed sugary treats per day or the maximum # of pets we can have at one time. Hey, what's another gerbil? Wait, we can't have another gerbil. We have too many already. What am I saying? Ugh!

My poor child is at the whim of my random decisions based on whatever random chore is occupying my mind at the time. And I'm sure she'll need therapy for it later in life. But I'm only paying for one session per week and that's final!

Who is your hero?

2011-07-08T09:44:00.008-05:00

Yesterday, Zoe's camp counselors sent her home with a form to be completed and returned today. As part of their hero-themed camp games this week, each camper was asked to name their favorite hero and explain why.

As usual, we were completing the form a few minutes before walking out the door this morning, so I was offering up hurried suggestions.

"How about Sally, our neighbor," I say. "She is very involved with several animal shelters and is so passionate about rescuing animals and finding them homes."

"Sure," agrees Zoe. "But I also like LavaGirl. Can we include her too?"

How could I say no to that request? And besides, I'm sure Sally would feel honored to be chosen along with a girl who can set herself on fire to save the day.

Who's your hero?

Do you have room in your life for more friends?

2011-07-05T13:07:00.002-05:00

My daughter has been attending a local camp for the past 3 weeks. Her “tribe” as the camp calls them is fairly large, around 15 girls. Of the 15, 3 are girls who are in Zoe’s same grade at preschool … but not in her same class so while she knows them, they don't see each other that often.

I was excited that Zoe would be in class with these 3 girls, thinking it would give her the chance to get to know them better and expand her group of friends. Sadly, what I hadn’t banked on was the fact that those 3 girls already had all the friends they want, which means they don’t have room in their lives for any new friends like Zoe. It reminds me of that movie Audrey Hepburn was in where she said, “I don’t need any new friends, I already have all the friends I want,” or something along those lines.

One day last week, Zoe refused to go to camp. I drove her there and she simply would not get out of the car. I was baffled. Camp is fun right? She loved it last year. Not this year. When I discussed it with her further, I discovered that these 3 girls are leaving Zoe out and don’t want her to be part of their circle. So she’s having a hard time.

I’m hoping this week will be easier because one of the 3 is not returning for the 2nd session so maybe Zoe has a chance of inserting herself into the group. Or maybe not. We’ll see how it goes.

But this situation got me thinking about human nature when it comes to friends. Adults do it all of the time. We already have all the friends we need so we don’t give anyone new a chance. And based on my daughter’s experience, this behavior starts very early … these girls are 5!

What makes us behave this way? Where does this need to “exclude” come from? Are children learning it from their parents or is it something we’re born with?

Have you ever considered just going back to bed?

2011-06-28T11:46:00.002-05:00

This morning when I was walking Zoe into the building where she goes to camp, our feet got tangled (no pun intended as it relates to Zoe's favorite movie about Rapunzel), and I fell flat on my face ... on a very hard concrete floor that is just barely covered with some pathetic excuse for indoor/outdoor carpet.

I haven’t fallen like that in years and I have to say, it hurt so much that it almost brought tears to my eyes. The woman who was walking in front of us stopped to check on me. She was truly concerned, and I think she could tell by how slowly I was getting back to my feet that I was really hurt.

I put on a brave face, said I was fine and got Zoe to her destination. Then I made my way back to my car and had a good cry … all the way home. I even cried some once I got home. The palms of my hands were really red as were my knees and the tops of my feet. But no blood or broken skin, thank goodness.

It all sort of happened in slow motion … for me at least. And I was in too much pain to be embarrassed.

After I’d gotten over the shock of it, I was thinking about how long it took me to get back up after the fall … how long it took me to recover. And I realized something. I don’t think I actually wanted to get back up. I think I just wanted to lay there on the cold, hard concrete and rest. I’m tired from being a human doing. I’m ALWAYS doing something. I rarely ever have a break and quite honestly I’m sick of it. How did life get this busy? And how do I make it stop? Really, I want to know … how?

Mean play date behavior among 5 year olds

2011-06-27T11:41:00.002-05:00

This past Saturday, Zoe went over to a neighbor's house for a play date. She and this little girl, I'll call her "A", play together often and get along fairly well. A 3rd girl was also at the neighbor's house for a play date, I'll call her "B".

It wasn't long before I looked out the window and saw "A's" mother walking Zoe home. When I opened the door, the mom said that "B" had started out being mean to Zoe and had finally convinced "A" to also be mean to the point that "A" said she didn't want Zoe at her house anymore.

As you can imagine, Zoe was sad when she came in the door. We have the big wooden box where we keep stuffed animals and she climbed into that box to hid and as she said, "be alone for a while."

My heart hurt for her. And at the time, I really didn't even think about how the situation had gone down at the other house. I just wanted to comfort my daughter. But later when I'd had time to sort it through, I got angry.

"B" who is typically a little bully anyway (in the last month while at our house, she has broken Zoe's bed and screamed "ZOE ISN'T RESPECTING ME AND SHE SHOULD BECAUSE I'M HER ELDER." Play dates with her are never easy. And by sending Zoe home on Saturday, A's mom just confirmed to "B" that her bad behavior generates the results she wants ... so she'll just keep doing it. In fact, she was rewarded for her bad behavior.

I've been seething about it all weekend. And then this morning, when I went to drop Zoe off at camp, she was shy and klingy. She didn't want me to put her down. She didn't want to play with any of her friends. I actually thought she must be sick. And then a friend suggested that maybe Zoe was just shy about social interactions since she'd had such an ugly one on Saturday.

Ugh, that broke my heart even more. I didn't realize it at the time but I think my friend is right. Zoe probably was afraid the girls at camp were going to be mean or exclude her. And she didn't even want to try out of fear.

Ugh again. All of this pushes so many childhood buttons for me ... I'm back on the playground with mean Tammy S. who has decided I'm the one she wants to exclude for the week and she has convinced all of the other girls to do the same. I'm isolated and sad and just want to hide under my bed. I know exactly how Zoe feels and there's not much I can do about it except be there for her. Sometimes being a parent sucks!

Mary Kay eye shadow makes me look awesome!

2011-06-23T11:49:00.006-05:00

I was recently given the opportunity to try 3 different shades of eye shadow and a blush from Mary Kay. And while I'm not a big wearer of makeup, I am a big fan of Mary Kay Ash.

She was an amazing woman and of course she started her business in Dallas, which while I'm not loving Dallas right now thanks to the 100 degree days, I do live here. I see the Mary Kay corporate office building almost every day while I'm driving on the Dallas North Tollway. Gotta be proud of our hometown businesses, especially ones that were started by women as awesome as Mary Kay Ash.

So, now that I've properly expressed my awe for the founder of Mary Kay, let's talk about the products. I was given the following things to try:

Mineral Cheek Color - Shy Blush
Mineral eye color - Beautiful Brown Bundle which contained: Silky Caramel, Midnight Star (which is a very dark blue) and Sienna.

As I mentioned earlier, I rarely wear any makeup other than foundation and powder. I never seem to have enough time to do more in the mornings than the very basics so "extras" when it comes to makeup just don't make their way to my face.

But since I had these lovely eye shadows, I decided to give them a try. They come in a cute little package with easy-to-undertand instructions right on the inside box lid. There are two examples complete with diagrams to show makeup-challenged folks, like myself how to do it ... thank goodness.

I used the makeup several times over a couple of weeks and tried both examples even though my eye lids are not "big" like the instructions said on the 2nd diagram. I was a little scared of the Midnight Star because seriously, I haven't even seen blue eye shadow since the 70s but I have to tell you, the stuff is beautiful.

When I got married, I paid a makeup professional several 100 dollars to do my face. When she was finished, I almost cried because I looked so beautiful. That's exacty how I felt about my eyes after applying the Mary Kay eye shadow. I was totally blown away by how much better my eyes looked. The colors just made my eyes "Pop," even behind my glasses.

I won't lie and say I'm using the colors ever day, but I am making the effort to apply eye shadow at least a couple of times per week now. I really am in awe at what a difference it makes.

As for the blush, I did try it but can't say that I got the same awe-changing results as with my eyes. But it is a nice color so there's nothing to complain about.

However, there is one thing I will complain about a bit if I may. I did purchased some Mary Kay foundation and powder a few years back from a coworker who is a Mary Kay rep. I didn't realize when I was ordering that I also had to pay extra for the plastic compact for my powder and I wasn't very happy when the products came in and I discovered this fact. I honestly didn't order again because I was kind of annoyed that I had to buy a "house" for my powder to live in. I felt like that should just be part of the deal. OR, the sales rep should have told me she was "adding in an extra item" when I placed the order.

And I understand the whole environmentally-friendly thing that is taking place by only using one plastic container and buying less-plastic instense refills but I honestly didn't think I should have to pay for the compact. Shouldn't that just be included?

With this sampling of products I received this time, I also got a compact for the eye shadow that I'm guessing is an exta charge. So if I do order more products from Mary Kay in the future, I'll be more careful to discuss the details of what I'm getting with the rep.

Overall, I'm so grateful to have been given the opp to try these products. I LOVE the eye shadows and am definitely sold on them.

Have you tried any of the latest Mary Kay products? If so, what did you think?

Dora is dead to us. Long live Dora.

2011-06-14T17:12:00.002-05:00

Some of Zoe friends were at our house on Saturday for a playdate. When I asked them all to pick a sippy cup for their drinks, a lot of scrambling took place and everyone ended up with a cup they liked except for the little girl who got the Dora cup.

"I don't like Dora," she announced.

"Neither do I," said another little girl.

"I'm over Dora," said Zoe.

This was news to me but much crying and whining took place while the group fought over who was getting stuck with the unpopular Dora cup.

One sweet girl finally gave in and took the cup, but she reminded us several times afterwards how much she really, really didn't like Dora.

The end of an era has come. Dora is no longer welcome in our house ... apparently. The mom is always the last to know.

A Talent to spot what's wrong

2011-06-06T09:46:00.002-05:00

A few days ago, I sent an email to a family member. I was in a hurry so when I "signed" my name, I typed Mihcele. Obviously not the correct way to spell Michele but also in the grand scheme to things, obviously not really the most important part of my message.

Said family member responded by making fun of me for mispelling my name. She said something along the lines of "have you changed the way you are spelling your name these days?" She totally ignored the rest of my email, which included a question I needed her to answer.

I am intrigued by this trait that seems to be common in a lot of folks I know (mostly relatives) to find the one thing that is wrong in the haystack of everything else that is right and important. And it's a trait that spans both written and verbal communications when it comes to these folks. If we're having a conversation, they point out what I've done or said wrong.

It probably goes without saying that I really hate this trait. It drives me crazy. But what scares me the most about this trait is that my daughter, who is sadly around it so much, will end up also "inheriting" this trait. So how do I prevent that? Any suggestions?

The Disneyland Frenzy

2011-06-03T14:02:00.013-05:00

We just got back from a few days at Disneyland. When people found out we were going to Disneyland, they acted bored. "Oh, Disneyland is so small. You'll be done in a day." "Ugh, it's no DisneyWorld." And the comments continued in that fashion. Now that we are home, I've decided those naysayers were just jealous. Here's a few of the things I can recall from the frenzy:

There is NO WAY we could have seen and done everything at Disneyland in 1 day. We had 3 days and still didn't finish. I was wishing we had purchased 4 day park hopper tickets instead of 3 just to give us one more day to "finish up" with the things we didn't see.

A wonderful friend of a friend was gracious enough to get us VIP passes to see the World of Color water and light show. We liked it so much, we went back the 2nd night and stood in line just to see it again. SO AWESOME.

That same friend of a friend also got us VIP passes to see Fantasmic. If I had purchased the 4 day tickets, we would have gone back to see that one again as well. It was, well, Fantastic! Loved it.

We totally lucked out because the new ride, Ariel's Undersea Adventure was supposed to open the day after we left but Disney did a "soft launch" so the ride was open when we arrived. We loved that one so much, we rode it 3 times. The 2nd time was at 9 pm after we'd just gotten back to the hotel and my 5 year old decided she just had to ride it again, which brings me to another great point about Disneyland ...

We stayed at the Grand Californian Hotel based on a recommendation from Zoe's teacher. This hotel was a 2 minute walk from Disneyland and even closer to California Adventure Park. This fact alone made it the most awesome and convenient place to stay ever. But the staff at the Grand Californian Hotel was soooooo wonderful. I can't even begin to say enough nice things about that hotel and staff. If you ever get a chance to stay there, don't even hesitate. We had a beautiful room, complete with a bunk bed for Zoe, that overlooked the beautiful pool area with just a hint of several rides in the corner. So totally awesome dude as Crush from Finding Nemo would say.

Speaking of the great staff at the Grand Californian Hotel, they got us wonderful VIP passes to see the Aladdin Musical Spectacular and both the hubbie and I agreed that show alone was worth one day of park admission. It was truly amazing.

My 4 favorite rides in this order were: Space Mountain, Soarin' over California, Ariel's undersea adventure and Monsters Inc. There were also lots of other great rides but these 4 stand out and we rode a few of them more than once. And if I hadn't listened to the naysayers who stupidly thought I could see the entire park in one day, I could have probably squeezed in a few more rides via a 4 day park hopper.

We just happened to be standing around in the right place on Tuesday when an afternoon parade was starting. I'll admit that I like the night-time parade at DisneyWorld better but Disneyland's daytime parade is nothing to complain about, It was very colorful and as far as I could tell, it included just about every princess, which was great for Zoe.

Zoe and I participated in Disney pin trading with every single Disney "cast" member we could find wearing pins. We came home with 25 or 30 new pins and it was so much fun ... I was trading pins up until the very last minute before we left. It's so addictive and fun. My favorite moment was when we saw a cast member who was obviously headed out for the day and when he realized we were headed toward him to trade pins, he smiled and came right over to us. If that had been me, I would have pretended I didn't see the crazy pin trading addicts and ran the other way but not this guy. He was happy to participate in the craziness. I loved that!

Things that bugged me a bit: the food was not great. A lot of it was more "junk" type food (hot dogs, hamburgers, etc.) and it was difficult to find healthy, vegetarian options so we didn't eat very well while we were there. I wished we had made a trip to the grocery store and purchased a few healthy choices to keep in our room. Plus as is often discussed in conjuction with Disneyland or world, the food was not cheap. Next time, we'll plan better for meals.

The weather was colder than expected. Us crazy Texans think it's 90 degrees everywhere so we didn't pack many warm clothes. Several evenings, I had to wear 4 shirts just to keep from freezing. And forget about swimming. We really wanted to make use of the beautiful pools ... and water rides ... but it was just too darn cold for us. We did however totally enjoy the fireplace in the hotel lobby.

We made a day trip to Legoland also based on recommendations from Zoe's teacher. In hindsight, we wished we had skipped this road trip and yes, you guessed it, bought 4 day park hopper tickets to Disneyland instead. Legoland was OK but definitely not worth the $64 per person we paid. Plus, the park closed at 5 so we didn't even have time to make it to the waterpark ... not that it was warm enough to swim anyway but you get the idea. Glad we saw it once but probably won't be going back there again.

I'm sure there are many other things I'm forgetting but all in all, we had a wonderful time and we were all sad to leave yesterday. I think we could have stayed and enjoyed the beautiful California, Disneyland, ocean and Grand Californian Hotel for about another week. Poo on the folks who poo poo our vacation plans. We loved every minute of it ... well, except for the very long line to see Rapunzel. I'm not sure any princess is worth a 70 minute wait : )

P.S. I "borrowed" the pic of Rapunzel and Flynn somewhere on the Internet because after waiting 70 minutes in line to see Rapunzel, Zoe had her pic made, we walked out the door and about 30 seconds later, Flynn arrived. Darn it! We were so mad that we waited that long and just missed Flynn by a few seconds. That part did stink a bit so thanks to whoever posted this pic on the Internet. Hope you don't mind me using it : )

The Tornado Watchman

2011-05-24T21:27:00.002-05:00

My Dad was terrified of tornados. On stormy nights when I was a kid, he'd make us sleep in our clothes with our shoes beside our bed just in case he had to drag us out of bed and to the storm cellar at a moments notice.

Then he'd stay awake all night alternating between watching the weather news on the TV and walking outside to watch the actual weather around us. More than once, we were pulled from our warm beds and taken across the backyard to join the neighbors in a musty-smelling concrete room under the ground.

I never actually experienced a tornado but my Dad always said everything gets quiet right before the tornado hits and then it sounds like a train coming at you.

Tonight, I took my Dad's place as the storm watchman ... or watchwomen. We rarely get tornados in the Dallas area but tonight's weather has been crazy. Zoe has been home sick all day so she went to bed early and thankfully fell asleep quickly.

I on the other hand was awake and straining my ears for the sound of silence and then a train. I did let her go o sleep in her PJs but I put shoes by the bed for her and me. The rain knocked out our satellite so I couldn't watch the weather on TV. I walked outside a few times but that just scared me more.

I finally decided on prepping a "safe closet" for me and Zoe and watching out the window, waiting for a sign that I needed to wake up my poor sleeping child and drag her to the closet.

And as a sign of the times, I was texting with a friend who lives a few streets away. We agreed to warn each other if one of us heard the train first. But thankfully ... so far ... no train came our way. So like my Dad, I'll stay up a bit later just to make sure a train doesn't sneak up and surprise us but so far so good.

Happy 5th Birthday to my "baby"

2011-05-16T10:07:00.004-05:00

Zoe turned 5 yesterday. I can't even begin to know how the past five years have flown by so quickly. I remember the night she was born like it was yesterday and I reflected on each moment of that day several times.

This is the time that they took me to the Labor & Delivery room. This is the time that they forced me to have painkillers so I'd stop cursing. This is the time they told me to push. This is the time that I saw my beautiful baby girl for the very first time. This is the time we were still wide awake at 1 am because we just couldn't get enough of the beautiful bundle of joy.

Happy, happy 5th birthday sweet baby ... I mean big ... girl : )

Less than great experience at CVS Pharmacy this morning

2011-04-15T14:51:00.002-05:00

I stopped in at CVS this morning to pu a prescription. The maker of this particular drug sent me a coupon to use for a substantial discount that reduces the price of the drug from $50 per month to $11. In the past CVS, has had this information on file and added the discount automatically but for some reason today, the sales clerk said, "That will be $50."

"Uhh, was the coupon not applied to this prescription," I ask?

"What coupon," the clerk asks?

So I explain the coupon situation and after giving me a heavy sigh and a dirty look, said clerk walks to the back of the pharmacy and has a discussion with another lady. They look in the computer. Talk some more. And then she finally comes back with my prescription for $11.

Much better on the price. BUT, I could have done without the attitude. The rest of the time she was ringing me up, she was giving me the stink eye and acting like I did something wrong. She didn't say another word during the rest of the transaction and basically pushed me out of the way to get to the next customer.

Now while I wasn't surprised to be treated like crap at this particular CVS (Preston and Forest in Dallas), because their staff generally always treats me like crap and they don't care when I complain to the corporate office, I was confused as to what exactly went down this morning that caused this particular sales clerk to decide I was the spawn of satan and start treating me so badly.

I honestly expected an apology for the mix-up but instead she acted like I'd done something wrong. It really started off my day in a bad way.

I've stopped doing any business with CVS with the exception of prescriptions because it's close to my house but after this morning's episode, I think it's time to switch to a different pharamcy, even if I have to drive farther, and be done with CVS completely.

A visit from a kitty ghost?

2011-04-13T15:42:00.007-05:00

I was working in my home office this afternoon, listening in on a conference call when I heard someone talking/singing in the other end of my house. I put the phone down and walked back to Zoe's bathroom to find her toothbrush holder singing the theme song from the Little Mermaid ... full blast.

Now, it's not unusual for said toothbrush holder to sing a little tune when one pushes the button or removes their toothbrush from the holder, but I've never known it to sing when no one was around to activate it.

At first, I freaked out a bit and ran for my smudge stick. I lit it and walked around the house asking the ghosts to go hangout somewhere else. I smudged the longest in Zoe's room but also made sure I got the entire house really well.

Once I finished, I started wondering if the "ghost" might have been Ruby? Is it possible that a pet could come back and hang out after death? She didn't die here at the house. We were at the Vet's office but I guess she could find her way home if needed?

I'm back to being a bit freaked out by all of it and hoping Ruby forgives me for not being a better mom ... one who takes her pets to the vet on a regular basis to make sure they are ok ... one who doesn't wait until it's too late to visit the doctor. Ugh.

Have any of you ever had an experience like this? Am I just being crazy?

RIP Sweet Girl Ruby

2011-04-10T15:49:00.002-05:00

Our sweet girl Ruby (on the left) passed away today. She would have been 11 years old on April 30. Her passing was sudden and unexpected and everyone in our household, including her brother Bailey (on the right), misses her so much. May her beautiful soul find a beautiful new home.

The Giant Honeysuckle Tree

2011-04-04T16:13:00.010-05:00

We have this not so attractive tree in our front yard that we often call our trash tree. We've discussed cutting it down several times but don't because it provides the only shade on that side of our yard. A few weeks ago, said tree grew the most beautiful hanging white flowers that smell like honeysuckle.

And now, our entire front yard smells like a giant bottle of honeysuckle perfume. It's totally awesome and has made us like the trash tree just a little bit more.

Happy Spring ... it's on it's way!

If you break it, you buy it

2011-03-14T18:26:00.004-05:00

From the time I was a little girl until way into adulthood, my mother would FREAK if I broke something. I remember knocking over my class of milk at a restaurant once. First, milk spilled all over the table and then the glass tumbled into the floor and broke. You would have thought the world was coming to an end. I don't think I was ever allowed to have a breakable glass at a restaurant again after that.

It's not a pleasant memory and I still carry with me a ton of embarrassment even today if/when I break something. This is not a memory or feeling I want my own daughter to experience so ... today when she broke a candle in a glass holder at a store, I had to take a deep breath and speak in a soft slow voice. While the dysfunctional, messed up child in me was saying, "WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!!" the mom in me who wants to raise my daughter differently than I was raised said, "oh my, I asked you to be careful with those candles but you had an accident anyway. Now the candle is broken and we'll have to pay for it.

"Why do we have to pay for it?" asked Zoe. "I don't even like it, I don't want to buy it."

"If you break something, you have to pay for it," I say.

Sad, frown face. The first big tear drop rolls down the cheek. Then another big tear drop. Sobbing starts. And the sobbing went on and on and on for almost an hour.

The poor girl was so upset. I thought she was going to curl up in the fetal position when I told the cashier "We broke something and want to pay for it."

She cried all the way home and for a long time after we got home. I tried talking to her. Telling her it was OK but nothing could soothe her. Until finally, I pulled out a princess t-shirt for her to paint on. The crying stopped.

It felt like I was rewarding her for breaking something but the sobbing was breaking my heart and I just couldn't take it anymore. And I guess it's better than the alternative of having her become a grown woman that is terrified of breaking anything for fear her mom will freak out.

There's no tough love going on in this house : )

Is Tweeting affecting your emails?

2011-02-28T11:44:00.002-06:00

I posted an ad on craigslist.com last night for an antique floor lamp. I bought said lamp at a garage sale several years ago and spent some money having it rewired and painted, but it's just been collecting dust in my garage for years so I decided it was time for it to find a new home.

I don't have any idea how much it's worth and I can't remember what I paid to have it refurbished so I just said "make an offer" in the ad. One lady responded immediately and offered me $20. Sold! That's $20 more than I had yesterday and the lamp will no longer be taking up space in my garage.

This morning, I got another email from a prospective buyer. Here's what the email said:

trade

Me thinks that woman has been spending way too much time on Twitter and forgot that an email actually offers enough space to write a full sentence.

There were so many fun ways I could have responded but I decided to hit "delete" instead and move on. Nuff said ... or not said in this case : )

The "makeup" ice skating class

2011-02-25T09:41:00.006-06:00

Zoe started ice skating lessons this past Monday. We were a week behind so the teacher told us we could take a make-up class anytime during the next 4 weeks. Zoe liked her first class so much, she was ready to go back right away so I scheduled her make-up class for Thursday night.

I explained to her that we were going to a make-up class and that her friend Joey wouldn't be there because she was taking a different make-up class.

Once the class we finished, we were sitting in the food court at the mall having lemonade and Zoe asked, "when are they going to put makeup on me?"

"What," I asked?

"You said it was a makeup skating class. We've skated already so when are they going to put makeup on us?"

So through suppressed laughter, I attempted to explain what I meant by "make-up" skating class. But apparently I didn't do a very good job because on the way to school this morning, she asked me, "When will Joey be taking her lipstick skating class?"

Ahhh, the communication confusion starts early doesn't it?

Have a great weekend and check out my sweet girl's art blog when you have a chance!

Boys are calling my daughter!

2011-02-20T16:43:00.004-06:00

Just a few minutes before the Jewish Sabbath started this past Friday, our telephone rang. I looked at the caller ID and while I didn't recognize the (Jewish) name, I answered the phone anyway because well, if a Jewish person was calling me this close to the Sabbath, it must be really important.

A cute little voice asked to speak to Zoe. Since Zoe has never before gotten a telephone call, I was a little stunned and forgot to ask "who is this?" I went outside where Zoe was playing and handed her the phone and since she isn't used to talking on the phone, she stared at me like I was nuts.

When I finally convinced her she had a call, she put the receiver to her ear and spoke a very soft, tentative "hello." She waited a minute and handed the phone back to me saying there wasn't anyone there. I said hello into the phone and the same little voice said, "This is Mendell, can I please speak to Zoe?"

I handed the phone back to Zoe and relayed the message. "Oh, it's Mendell," she said, "give me the phone." Then she proceeded to prance around in our driveway and have a giggly conversation with a 5-year-old boy from her preschool class.

When they were finished talking, she handed me back the phone and said, "Mendell wants to have a playdate with me" and off she went to finish playing during the last few minutes of daylight.

They really do grow up fast these days don't they? : )

Zoe starts an Art blog

2011-02-13T17:03:00.003-06:00

Thanks to a great suggestion from Auntie Mim, Zoe has started her very own art blog. Check it out and let her know what you think: Zoe Makes Art.

The snow fun continues

2011-02-04T10:23:00.010-06:00

We realized last night around midnight that it looked awfully bright outside. We stepped on the backporch and saw the most amazing snow fall.

Snow had already covered amost everything in our backyard. It was so beautiful and totally different from the ice we'd received earlier in the week.

It snowed all night long and it's still snowing right now ... snowing really hard. Dallas so rarely sees this kind of snow action. We hardly know what to do with ourselves.

We've been out once to play. Got our not-really-good-for-snow clothes wet and we're back in the house to warm up before we go out again.

I really love these pics we took last night. The snow just glistened when the flash from the camera hit it. So much fun!

A discussion with the snow queen

2011-02-03T17:36:00.003-06:00

We're on day 3 of being trapped in the house thanks to a blanket of ice that is covering the Dallas area. Yesterday, a friend came over to play with Zoe. Today has been a little more monotonous for her. I've been busy with work so she has had to entertain herself most of the day.

Around 3pm, she comes into my office and proclaims with a big, heavy sigh, "There's nothing for me to do!"

"You know, I say, I really need to run to the store. How about we get dressed and get out of the house for a bit?"

"What do you need from the store," she asks?

"Coffee creamer and bread," I say.

"Ugh, have Daddy get that stuff on his way home," she says as she walks off to find something more fun to do.

I can't help but wonder if her answer would have been different if my shopping list had included ice cream, candy and a new princess doll?

Lazy Snow Daze

2011-02-02T14:20:00.004-06:00

We woke up Tuesday morning to a wintery, snowy wonderland. So it was really more like a bunch of ice but hey, we'll take what we can get here in the big D.

Either way, Zoe's school was closed as was Neil's work. I sadly discovered the one downside to working at home - no snow days.

But I throughly enjoyed not having to get Zoe dressed for school and not having to drive her to school. She totally enjoyed staying in her PJs all day and watching a lot of TV.

We're home again today for our second snow day and Zoe has a friend over. They are playing hide-and-seek and doing a lot of yelling and laughing.

Nothing like a nice, cold, icy snow day to remind me of my youth : )

Apparently boys can be mean too

2011-01-27T19:17:00.005-06:00

I took Zoe to Painting with a Twist today for their kids' after school painting project. The subject ... 3 yummy cupcakes. The result ... a beautiful painting and a very messy mom and kid. I even had paint in my hair. Zoe had it in her mouth.

A good time was had by all but at the end when I was taking the photo of the finished painting, the little boy who was sitting next to us asked, "Why are you taking a picture of HER?" Imagine lots of disdain on the word "her."

"Um, I'm taking a picture of her because I love her and I think she did a great job with her painting," I say.

Pause.

"Well, he said, my little sister is cuter."

"I'm sure you think she is," I say. What I wanted to say was "bite me."

His mom, who is sitting right next to him, doesn't say a word. Not a "that's not nice" or "you shouldn't say things like that to people." She just stares at me. She can "bite me" too. Here's Zoe's lovely finished product : )

Failure Friday

2011-01-21T14:59:00.002-06:00

We were at a neighbor’s house for dinner a few weeks ago and a dinner guest asked my 4 year old if she had any brothers or sisters. Zoe replied, “No but we’re trying really hard.”

It almost broke my heart. We have been trying really hard and she knew it. She’s watched me hobble around and barely be able to sit down because my backside is so sore from the shots. And all the while, she’s patiently been praying to God to bring her a baby sister.

And I thought he might just oblige us this time. I cramped from day 1 after the egg transfer and felt queasy. I let myself be fooled into believing that “this time, this time it’s going to work.” I did such a fine job of convincing myself of it in fact that when the nurse told me yesterday that the pregnancy test was negative, I went into a kind of mini-shock. I didn’t trust my ears to believe what she had said. How could it be true?

But it was true and now I have to live with the fact that I can’t, no matter how hard I try, give my daughter what she wants more than anything … a sister … a playmate … a trusted friend who lives with her all of the time. I’ve run out of options. I’ve reached the end of this road.

I feel like a big, ole failure with a lot of “infertility debt” and nothing to show for it. Not even a good lesson learned; just a lot of heartbreak and regret. This is one of those times that life sucks big time.

Mean girls at age 4

2011-01-19T14:26:00.003-06:00

I took Zoe to a birthday party on Monday. It was supposed to be a drop-off party but unfortunately for us, the mean ballet teacher had been hired as the entertainment. Zoe wanted nothing to do with the mini-ballet class being taught so she climbed in my lap and wouldn't move.

As I watched all the other mothers escape, I couldn't help but think about the things I COULD be getting done if I were somewhere else but I finally faced the fact that I wasn't going anywhere so I just started observing.

About 25 cute little 4 - 5 years olds wearing tutus and nasty 'tudes'. I'm not sure if it was the all-girl party that brought out their bad attitudes but I was appalled and ashamed at some of the behavior.

One girl in particular who is usually so nice said a few less-than-nice things to Zoe about her choice to not participate (what do you care what we're doing, you're not even playing so leave us alone and stay out of it). Another ragged on Zoe for biting her brother ... a year ago.

One girl threatened to punch another girl if she didn't stop touching her. One got pissed because another was on her piece of tape (markers for ballet). And one pitched a fit because the birthday girl's sister got to choose which picture she was going to color when no one else did. To this, the mother of said birthday girl said, "she's the sister, get over it!" I love that part.

This behavior went on for the 45 long minutes of the ballet class and then flowed over into the game playing time as well. By cake time, it has subsided a bit, thank goodness.

I was really freaked out by just how awful such young girls could behave. I always thought a mean attitude was learned but now I'm not so sure. Maybe we're born with it!

Lost Things

2011-01-13T10:27:00.005-06:00

A few months ago, I was reading some inspiration book or article (can't remember what it was) and it said you should lose something that is valuable to you at least once per day. I don't think the story went on to say why but I remember at the time thinking it was silly advice.

Then last week, I lost two things on two different days - both things were very important to me.

First, I lost my cell phone when I was picking up Zoe at school. We got to the car and I didn't have the phone. Zoe and I both remembered me putting it in the side pocket of her backpack but it wasn't there. This was also the same day that I threw Zoe's muddy shoes in the trash. I traced my steps, even digging through the trash, and couldn't find the phone. I check my car twice. No phone. When I got home, I looked down and my phone was lying there in clear view like it had been there all along. Maybe it had, maybe it hadn't. Either way, it was weird and I felt relieved since I wouldn't have to pay for a new phone and redo my address book.

Next, two of my rings disappeared. One is an antique that I've had forever and totally love. The other is a cheap mood ring that isn't worth much but I also love it. AND so does Zoe. Which lead me to believe that Zoe might have been the taker of the rings. I asked her and yes, she had taken the rings. She had played with them for a while in the bathroom but couldn't remember where she put them. Yikes. We checked the drains. We feared the rings were in the toilet. We looked in the playroom and Zoe's bedroom. No luck.

I left to run errands and hoped Neil would find the rings while I was gone. He didn't. I was upset all day over those rings. And I'd almost given up when I happened to walk past Zoe's stroller and there in the cup holder was my rings! I felt relieved.

In both cases, I ended up feeling relieved. I'm not sure what this means in relation to the inspiration article that said you SHOULD lose something valuable everyday but it was at least an exciting time that got my blood pumping. Maybe it's an aerobic thing : )

As Verne the Turtle says: NOT INTERESTED!

2011-01-10T15:34:00.004-06:00

Per a previous post, I noted that my boss, who I had not bonded with, quit effective immediately. Previous to his announcement, I wasn't loving life. I liked my job but I didn't like it being managed by him. So once he announced he had quit, I felt relief and excitement. Now maybe I can get a new boss that I like and can work more easily with.

Thanks to my excitement, I've told many friends and family about what's going on and about a dozen of them have all "urged" me strongly to apply for my managers job. When I tell them I'm not interested, the hounding starts.

"Oh but you'd be so great at it, go for it."

"I don't want."

"But really, I have faith in you."

"I'm not interested."

"Oh come on, you'd be great."

"NOT INTERESTED!"

Then they get mad at me because I won't do what they think I should do and they sull up.

Ugh, it's so uncomfortable. I really do feel like Verne from Over the Hedge. Why isn't anyone listening to me? Why?

So I might have overacted a bit but ...

2011-01-07T16:23:00.003-06:00

When I picked up my daughter at preschool this afternoon, I saw her running across the playground having fun. How nice for her I thought. Until ... I got closer and realized her and these annoying twins were running across the playground and jumping into a mud hole, all while the teacher watched and did a whole bunch of nothing.

Zoe's shoes were completely covered in mud as were her socks. She had mud all the way up her legs past her knees and mud was caked on her dress.

I was instantly annoyed, so much so that I made her take off her socks and shoes and I threw both in the trash. She screamed and cried all the way to the car. I said maybe next time you won't think it's ok to ruin your shoes by repeatedly jumping in mud.

Then in the process of it I somehow lost my phone and then it magically reappeared in my car. Very weird stuff.

So I might have overacted but the thought of me having to clean the layers of mud off those shoes was unbearable. There's only so much I can take! Nuff said.

The chaos that is my week

2011-01-07T09:10:00.003-06:00

Remember me telling you how I was having trouble getting back into the swing of things after being on vacation for 2 weeks? Well, the week kicked me in the backside almost immediately and has been a complete rollercoaster ride ever since. Today I'm so overwhelmed that I'm kind of just stuck and can't moved forward ... or get any work done.

So let me start at the beginning. A couple of months back, my former boss called a meeting with me to talk about a job opening that was about to become available. She said she thought I'd be a great fit for it and wanted to recommend me. I jumped at the chance because while I like my current job, I wasn't loving my current boss.

The next day she recommended me and was told I could apply for the job as soon as it was posted. Only, it was never posted. And the week before we left for winter break, I learned that my former boss had gotten the job she thought I'd be such a perfect fit for. Ugh. I was depressed but chalked it up to a "wasn't meant to be" situation.

Fast foward to this past Tuesday when we all get back from vacation and my former boss calls me to say she has just resigned. Say what? Are you kidding me? But you just took a new job at the company ... the job I wanted? What the heck?

After I'd said all of the appropriate things ... I'll miss you; such a loss for the company; will never be able to fill your shoes ... I asked what was going to happen to the job she'd just taken because I'm still interested in it. "Oh, you are?" she asked. "OK then, I'll recommend you for it." And so the "recommendation" email was sent to the powers that be with a bcc to me.

The next day, my existing boss resigned. And while I sent up a little prayer wishing him well and the best in his future endeavors, I was honestly glad to see him go. I think outside of work, we might have been friends but at work, he always made me feel like I wasn't doing enough no matter how hard I worked. I got enough of that treatment when I was growing up. Don't need more of it as an adult.

On Thursday, my former boss emails to tell me she needs to "dump" about 1/2 of her workload on me effectively immediately. "Oh and when they replace me, she says, maybe the new person will take this stuff off your plate."

I took that to mean I wasn't being considered for the job ... the job I've tried to get twice ... and I took that to mean that while I'm doubling my workload, I'm not going to get any additional money or recognition for it.

And things came to a screeching halt. Ever since then I've just been stuck, moving in slow motion. I don't feel motivated to do "either" of my jobs right now and I'm not sure how I'm going to get back on track. I'm hoping the weekend will be the break I need to move past this awful week but I guess only time will tell.

Vacation is over. Long live vacation.

2011-01-04T09:00:00.004-06:00

Today is my first day back at work after a 2 week break. Ugh. It would be an understatement to say I'm having a bit of trouble getting into the swing of things. My thoughts are clouded with dreams of winning a really big lottery so I don't have to go back to work ever again ... at least not to a job I don't really want to go back to ... but until that happens, you'll find me at my desk Tweeting and Facebooking and doing all the other things that go with Social Media.

I can't help but be reminded of an awful guy I dated many years ago and an awful thing he said to me many years ago. So awful that it has stuck with me when many other, way more pleasant things have gone.

We were constantly fighting, breaking up and making up only to start the cycle over again. Once after a particularly difficult break-up, we were in the process of making up and he said, "I feel like a kid who is being forced to go back to school after summer vacation." Of course, I should have kicked him in the arse right then and walked out, but I was young and stupid and apparently liked being abused so I stayed for another few months.

So in words similar to the eloquent and painful words of "Dick," I say, "I feel like an adult who is being forced to go back to work after winter break." And I'm kicking and screaming all the way.

And just in case you were wondering, I did indeed "get him back" many years later for the mean, awful things he said to me. Ahhh, the sweet victory of revenge. Happy New Year!

When the teacher doesn't like your child

2010-12-30T08:28:00.004-06:00

A few years ago, the school my daughter attends started offering Ballet classes. Zoe wasn't there at the time but several people I knew rushed to enroll their children in the class. The students LOVED the teacher. The parents ... not so much. It seems, based on what I've heard from the parents, the teacher was catering a bit too much to the students 4 - 8 year olds, doing whatever she could to make them LOVE her. For example, while the recital was optional, the teacher made it look so appealing that none of the students wanted to be left out so they would beg their parents to be part of the event. The parents were then forced to spend a lot of extra money on recital fees and costumes.

But at the same time, the children begged to have Ms. Belinda at their birthday parties and completely worshiped the ground she walked on. Ms. Belinda loved the kids and they loved her back. However, there was an uproar among the parents and said teacher was ousted and a new teacher put into place. This is where Zoe becomes part of the story.

I was so excited to enroll Zoe in Ballet and did so as soon as she was old enough. The new structure was such as the classes, recital fees and costumes were one fee so there weren't any surprises at the end and every child could participate in the big event.

At first, Zoe was excited too. She loved her new ballet outfit and shoes and loved going to class. But during the parent observation held late in the year, I noticed something that didn't sit well with me. The teacher was constantly calling out Zoe. Constantly getting onto her. And I didn't see it happening much with the other students. I brushed it off as me being paranoid. "Of course she got onto the other students. I just didn't notice it because she is mine and they aren't. I was totally focused on her."

The year passed and during the recital's dress rehearsal, I saw the teacher take Zoe by the arm and drag her behind the stage I assumed for a “talking to” because Zoe wasn’t listening. Now I’ll be the first to admit, the “not listening” is common for Zoe. It’s something we work on daily. But I was still more than a little upset by what I'd seen.

Come year 2 and I went ahead and enrolled Zoe in Ballet again even though I was a bit uneasy with the way I perceived the teacher to be treating her. But it wasn’t long into the year before Zoe started crying on Fridays when she had to go to Ballet. I’d be packing her ballet clothes and she would wail, “I DON’T WANT TO GO TO BALLET.”

I attended the parent observation and once again noted the teacher calling Zoe out over and over again. But this time I also saw heard her calling out other kids too. So while I was still worried, I decided again to brush it off.

But as the semester drew to a close and it came time for me to pay Ballet fees for the 2nd semester, I decided to ask Zoe her opinion. “Do you want to take ballet again next semester?” NO! NO! NO!

I asked several times over a few weeks and got the same answer. I finally told her she didn’t have to go back to ballet after Hanukkah. There were still 2 weeks of school left after Hanukkah but I thought Hanukkah was something Zoe would understand better than the end of the year or end of the semester or end of December. BUT, when Hanukkah ended, Zoe announced, “I don’t have to go to Ballet any longer.” She was thrilled. So we let her skip out on the last two classes.

Neil mentioned to Zoe's regular teacher that she wouldn't be going to Ballet anymore/that she didn't want to go to Ballet anymore and the teacher said, “If I was Zoe I wouldn’t want to go to Ballet either. The teacher is always riding her.” Ugh, even Zoe’s teacher saw it.

So while I love seeing Zoe in that cute little costume, I decided to take her out of Ballet and try to find something she might like better. Then yesterday I got an email from the Ballet teacher saying she was getting ready to order recital costumes and wanted to know who was coming back next semester and who wasn’t. I emailed to say Zoe wouldn’t be returning. Here is the response I got from the Ballet teacher:

“I am not sure I responded to your email. I will miss Zoe. She is such an interesting child. She sometimes seemed like she was doing her own thing and not focusing, yet after ballet, she was always the first one dressed and ready with all her stuff in her bag. She had done so on her own. She is a really cute child!”

At first, I had to laugh. The reason Zoe is always the first one dressed is that she wants to get the heck away from you teacher. Sad that the teacher isn’t smart enough to realize that or maybe she just doesn't care. But her first few statements helped confirm my fears all along – she is such an interesting child … like doing her own thing and not focusing. The teacher really did not like having Zoe in her class and she didn’t even try to be a good teacher to her, which makes me very sad.

I know this won’t be the last teacher to not like our child but I’m still angry and sad at the same time. Isn’t it a teacher’s job to do the best she can to bring out the best in every student? It’s not like Zoe is a bad kid. She is truly a very sweet little girl. But she does have a hard time focusing if you aren’t keeping her attention. She is also enrolled in an afterschool art class and, during that parent observation class, I saw her sitting at a table and totally focusing on a weaving project. I saw the teacher easily deal with the times that Zoe lost focus by simply spending a few minutes with her to get her back on track. Something the Ballet teacher obviously couldn’t be bothered with.

And while I had my fair share of less-than-great teachers when I was growing up, I guess I had hoped that today's teachers were better equipped to deal with all sorts of personalities and kids. But I guess some things never change. There are always going to be teachers out there that crush the spirit of little ones. And there's not much I can do about it.

Oh well, good riddance to the ballet class I guess and hopefully we’ll find a better teacher for some other class for Zoe in 2011.

Caller ID Etiquette

2010-12-21T09:23:00.002-06:00

A neighbor offered to have Zoe over yesterday for a playdate, which would normally last for a couple of hours but the girls got along so well, Zoe stayed most of the day.

At one point during the day, I looked on my cell phone to see if I had the Mom's number in my address book. Her name is Naomi and there was a Naomi so I called the number, got a voice mail that said, "you've reached Naomi but I didn't leave a message.

Instead, I looked up her Cell number in the school directory, called it and reached her.

Later in the day ... much later ... I got a call from "Naomi" only it was not the Namoi who was watching my child. It was a different Naomi that I had called earlier my mistake.

She said, "I got a call from this number earlier and don't recognize it. Who are you and why did you call me?"

I honestly couldn't think of a thing to say. She told me her name but I didn't recognize it. I must have put her number in my phone a long time ago for who knows what and forgotten about it. I explained to her that I was calling a different Naomi and had called her by mistake.

So my question is this: if you see a number on your caller ID that you don't recognize ... one that isn't in your telephone address book and the person didn't leave a message, do you call it back or assume it was a wrong number?

I never call numbers I don't recognize unless they've leave me a message. And it seems odd to me that people DO call unknown numbers just in case it might be an important call. If it's an important call, wouldn't they have left a message?

How do you handle this situation?

Review time sucks a bit

2010-12-19T09:06:00.005-06:00

So I had my annual review at work on Friday. I was dreading it like a big dog because I'd heard stories from coworkers who are much more competent than me getting less-than-great reviews.

In the end, I got a nice bonus, a rating that was higher than last year’s BUT at least one of my coworkers dinged me on my peer review and I’ve been seething about it all weekend. I have no way of knowing which coworker said it or if the same thing was said by more than one coworker but the statement was made that I don’t speak up in meetings and give my opinion about anything unless it relates to my business unit. Well duh, I generally don’t give my opinion on topics I don’t know anything about … unlike most of the folks on my team … so it stands to reason that I would only share my expertise in areas where I am, well, and expert. But apparently in Corporate America, that doesn’t matter. One should just flap their jaws about any topic just for the sake of flapping their jaws.

Can you tell I’m a bit bent out of shape about this?

It was also suggested that I take a toast masters class so I’ll feel more comfortable speaking up in meetings.

I did tell my boss that I have trouble getting a word in with all the “big mouths” on my team. OK, I didn’t use the term big mouths. I think I said the very “strong willed” people on my team. What I didn’t admit is that it's not a fear or lack of knowledge about how to "speak up" that keeps me quiet during those meetings. It's generally that I’m busy working to ensure I can complete my giant workload and a lot of the time, I have no interest in the ridiculous brain-storming that is taking place to try to solve some trivial problem that really doesn’t need solving.

I’d love it if everyone spent way more time actually doing their jobs and way less time talking and bragging about how great they are but alas that is not how corporate American works.

I once had a boss tell me that whether or not you succeed in biz depends on 80% face time with the right people, 15% how you look/carry yourself and 5% on how well you do your job/your productivity. Sadly I think she is right.

The artist in me came out last night

2010-12-17T10:09:00.004-06:00

Last night, I attended a Moms' Night Out hosted by my daughter's school. It was at this very cool place called Painting with a Twist. They give you a canvas, paint, brushes and the instructor walks you through how to paint a picture.

At first, we were all very stressed out ... I think it's the fear of messing up ... but once we got into the swing of things, it was actually very fun. At first, my picture also looked awful but by the time I finished, I was actually very pleased with the results.

My hubbie was shocked and awed at how good it turned out and this morning my 4-year-old said, Ema, where did that beautiful picture come from?

I was so proud. And I can't wait to go back and try something different.

Happy Holidays and merry weekend : )

One check mark equals $5

2010-12-10T10:02:00.003-06:00

We initiated a check mark system in our household a few months ago. The goal was to teach Zoe the value of gifts by making her work for them instead of just getting them for no good reason.

She gets check marks for good behavior and/or helping with chores but she can also lose check marks when she behaves badly or doesn't listen.

It took several months for her to get the first gift, which was a Jessie doll for 8 check marks. She would gain a check mark for helping clean her playroom and then lose a checkmark for not listening. When she finally did get the 8 check marks and the doll, she was so proud because she worked so hard for that toy.

Over the past few weeks, the check mark system has sort of fallen by the wayside because we've been so busy and because she was getting gifts for Hanukkah anyway. And being the crazy bargain shopper that I am, I've been buying toys all year long when I find them for a good price so the guest room closet is full of toys, several of which I didn't give her for Hanukkah because I had more toys than days.

Yesterday while I was taking a shower, Zoe snuck into the guest room and did a bit of shopping in the closet. When I got out of the shower, she asked, "Ema, how much is the Dora Links doll that is in the guest room closet?

"What does "how much?" mean? Do you mean how much did it cost when I bought it?" I asked.

"No," she said. "How many check marks do I need to get the doll?"

"Um, 6 check marks, yes, that's what you need, 6," I say.

Then it hit me, I might be able to teach her about money by adding a dollar value to the check marks. So I told her that each check mark is worth $5 and she needs 6 check marks or $30 for the Dora Links doll.

Now this didn't go over as well with her as it did with me. She cried and said $30 was way too much and she'd never be able to earn it, but I think in the long run it will be good. It's worth a try anyway : )

Gotta love how my kid get to be the test subjects for parenting ... or lack of ... skills : )

The Infertility Chronicles

2010-12-06T12:08:00.002-06:00

I realized today, thanks to a comment from a friend, that I haven't talked about what's going on with our fertility journey in a while. I've been trying to make it less and less important in my life in the hopes that the pain will be lessened but just in case you were wondering ...

During my last visit to the doc, she recommended we start looking into using a surrogate for the last round of eggs we have left. I told her there was no way we could afford it. I'd heard it could cost around $75,000. She said, "Oh I'm sure it's not that expensive" so I looked into it and while it wasn't $75,000 expensive, it was $60,000 expensive. Not a dollar amount we have to throw around so I've convinced the doc to do another transfer and use all 3 eggs. The transfer will probably occur at the end of Dec/early Jan and in the meantime, I'm being doses with high volumes of antibiotics just to make sure I don't have any infections that might be causing the problems.

I'm honestly relieved to be coming to the end of this journey. I'm tired and broke and ready to move on. At this point, I don't believe G-d wants us to have another child, but if he changes his mind, he knows where to find me : )

Love is ...

2010-12-03T09:53:00.002-06:00

Driving down the road at 60 miles per hour in 30 degree weather with the windows rolled down so your 4-year-old can enjoy the sound of the train that is running beside you : )

You already told me that

2010-11-19T14:38:00.002-06:00

I've been very scattered lately, which is not like me. I'm generally a list-making, task-completing machine. But more than once in the past few weeks, I've started telling hubbie an urgent story only to be stopped mid-sentence with "you already told me that, don't you remember?"

No, I don't remember or I wouldn't be telling you now would I?

In my mind, there's nothing much more embarrassing than be interrupted by someone telling you, "you've already told me that." Whether they say it or not, you just know by their tone that they are finishing that statement with a silent “You idiot.”

Last week, I told a friend twice “the housekeeper came today” in a matter of minutes. She was nice enough not to assault me with the “you already told me that” but I realized I was doing it as I was making the statement for the second time.

And I knew just how bad the situation was when I picked my daughter up at school earlier this week. The teacher told me something nice about Zoe – about how well she had shared her stuffed animal she brought for show and tell.

As we were walking out of the school, I commented on this fact and told her how proud I was of her that she was sharing so nicely. When we got into the car, I wanted to continue the conversation so I started my sentence with “your teacher told me how nicely you were sharing your stuffed horse today and …

“You already told me that Ema.” Silent … now shut up you idiot.

She is 4! Where did she learn this?

Perhaps I should make notes about the things I say or start recording myself from now on? Or maybe I should just keep my mouth shut.

But wait, have I already told you all of this?

Happy weekend.

Cuddly Bunny

2010-11-17T10:06:00.001-06:00

A friend is in the hospital so his daughter stayed with us last night. It was odd having another child in the house ... one we don't know like we know our daughter ... so it took a while to figure out her likes and dislikes, etc. But the one big difference I noticed between this girl and my daughter is the cuddle factor.

Zoe LOVES to cuddle. She talks about it. She asks to be cuddled. She cuddles back. The other little girl wanted nothing to do with the cuddling. In fact, she told Zoe to "STOP CUDDLING ME!"

It was actually kind of funny because I assumed all kids like to be cuddled but apparently not.

I also realized how grateful I am that my child DOES like to be cuddled because cuddling is fun : )

Accepting (ignoring) the things I cannot change

2010-11-15T18:07:00.003-06:00

Something has been bugging me all day. Actually it has been bugging me for 2 weeks but it reared its ugly head again last night in the form of a telephone call.

2 weeks ago, my MIL was visiting us on a Saturday afternoon. Before she arrived, Zoe and a friend had been playing ... and fighting ... for hours. Whatever said friend wanted to play with, Zoe suddenly couldn't live without and when she didn't get her way, the screaming and crying started. Hubbie and I had already been wrestling with time-outs and removal of priviledges for several hours by the time our "guest" arrived.

Not long after MIL showed up, the fighting escalated to the point of us sending the friend home and sending Zoe to her bedroom crying very loudly. I won't drag you though all of the details but the sum is that said friend and her 4 siblings ended up playing football in their front yard and then in our yard. I didn't think Zoe should be allowed to go outside and play since she had not behaved nicely and this decision put Zoe in an even bigger tailspin.

We finally broke down and let her go outside but by this time, she was so round-up that nothing was going to calm her down so she was just walking around outside crying.

It was around this point that my MIL told me I was an abusive parent for not letting my daughter play when all of those kids were in our front yard and then for letting her walk around the yard crying. And that my 4 year old was way too young to understand the concept of sharing and that it would all "come in time." I responded with a few choice words ... along the lines of how dare you. MIL decided to leave.

2 weeks passed without a world from MIL until last night when the FIL called to remind us that we are abusive parents and making terrible mistakes in the way that we are disciplining our child. That call ended in a screaming match which leads us to today.

I've been fuming all day. Angry at being acused of being an abusive parent when I know I'm a good mom. Angry at MIL & FIL getting up in my business when they themselves are not all that great at parenting. Feeling the need to fight and flight all at the same time.

And then it occured to me. I can't change their behavior. I can't control their behavior. All I can do is accept/ignore it and control how I choose to react to the ugly situation. And I KNOW I'm a good mom. I KNOW hubbie is a good father. I can stop walking around the house thinking of "proof" for this point. I know it. Nuff said.

Who cares what they think or say. It doesn't change the things I know to be true and I don't want to waste another second being angry about it. I really do feel so much better. Now I'm going to hang out with my sweet daughter and enjoy the evening. I hope you do as well : )

Breaking the faith

2010-11-12T15:21:00.003-06:00

Several months ago, I was exchanging text messages with an acquaintance. Our daughters were in the same preschool class, and the mom and I had bonded over infertility. I was telling her that the first IVF cycle had failed and the conversation somehow came around to discussing adoption. I said we'd tried in the past but gave up on the process for a number of reasons but one being that we couldn't find an adoption agency that didn't require us to attend several classes held on Saturdays.

This acquaintance is Jewish but not Orthodox and she knows that we are Orthodox. Her next message to me was a line I've heard several times before but one that never stops getting underneath my skin. She said, "I'm sure G-d wouldn't mind you breaking the Sabbath this one time. It's for a good cause."

I liken this statement to something along the lines of "I'm sure your husband wouldn't mind if you cheated just this one time because the guy is so freaking cute."

And don't get me wrong, I'm not all that much of an Orthodox Jew but my family does observe the Jewish Sabbath. It's not something we take lightly and the fact that some folks think it's something we can just "break" if we have a good reason both irritates me and makes me laugh a bit.

This time around, the friendship didn't survive the statement. I texted back something about being hurt that she didn't respect my choice of beliefs and she texted back something about me being silly for observing the Sabbath and so and that was the end of that. Not good for anyone.

Today, I got an email from a high-school friend who loves Football. I had mentioned to her once that I used to love Friday night football games and it was one of the the things I missed most about being an observant Jew ... well that and the Friday night happy hours. So I guess I opened myself up for it but her response was that she was going to have to come to Dallas and take me to a Friday night game ... saying G-d won't mind if you break the faith just this once. Ugh.

I really hate that statement. And all I could think was my usual "cheating on your hubbie" line but instead of expressing my hurt feelings, I ignored what she said and changed the subject. I chose the passive aggressive approach. Because I truly didn't know what else to say.

Just like I don't know what else to say right now ... I really just needed to vent. I hope you all have a great weekend : )

My expressive little girl

2010-11-01T15:21:00.002-05:00

When we were finished with what I thought was the last of the trick-or-treaters last night, I dumped Zoe's candy from her pumpkin into the bowl of leftover candy and set it on the table.

Not long after, another round of trick or treaters showed up and I let them pick candy of the bowl, not even remembering that I'd thrown Zoe's candy in the same bowl.

When Zoe got out of her bath, she looked into her pumpkin, realized her candy was missing and freaked out. I explained that I'd put it in the bowl but now only a few pieces of it were left.

Ugh, I felt awful. She asked where the little box was that she got from Richard (a neighbor) and the taffy she got from Sally (another neighbor). I said I was so sorry but that I'd accidentally given her candy away.

She was not happy with me. But she didn't cry. She just looked at me with a very serious look and said calmly, "I am so upset with you Ema."

Ugh again. I told her how sorry I was and that I'd replace the candy tomorrow. She sighed and said it was OK, even though I could tell she was really sad.

At that moment, I was amazed at how well my 4 year old could express her disappointment without yelling, crying or kicking. I wondered where she learned that lesson and also how I missed that lesson when I was growing up. Because I still stink at telling people when I'm mad or upset or hurt.

I'm so proud of my little girl. And just so you know, we'll be going to Target on our way home today to replace the lost candy : )

Milestones on the playground

2010-10-31T09:28:00.002-05:00

Yesterday was a beautiful day and we decided to have our lunch on the backporch. As is usual for lunch or dinner time, Zoe had little interest in eating and only wanted to run around. And since we were in the backyard, she had lots of fun things to do, namely playing on the fort/swing set combo.

At one point during the meal, we looked up to see her swinging ... herself. This has NEVER happened before. She was pumping her legs and using her arms to swing higher and higher ... all by herself. We didn't hear the usual, "Swing me!" She was doing it all by herself and laughing out loud with joy over her accomplishment. She swang for almost an hour. She swang until she was too exhausted to swing anymore.

It was a beautiful thing.

I told you so

2010-10-28T09:44:00.002-05:00

When I picked Zoe up at school on Monday, she was lying on a bench in the playground area and a very sweet little girl, who is a year younger than Zoe, was rubbing her back. I knew immediately that something was wrong. My daughter NEVER just lies around and does nothing. She is always on the go.

When we got home, I checked her temp. 99.9. A few minutes later, she threw up. I kept her home on Tuesday. She threw up once more but her fever was gone.

On Wednesday, I got her dressed to go back to school. All the while, she was kicking and screaming and saying she wanted to stay home. Neil and I agreed she was just playing us. So off to school she went.

Around 10 am, I got a call from the teacher. Zoe had thrown up on the playground. I rushed to the school to pick her up.

As soon as we got into the car, my smart 4-year-old said, "I told you I shouldn't go to school today."

Nuff says. Sometimes the little ones know best.

The nurse was right

2010-10-21T13:34:00.002-05:00

Unfortunately I got the news that my test was negative. Seems the HPTs really are pretty accurate. If it weren't for the fact that we have 3 frozen eggs left, I'd be done. But I don't feel like we can just not use them so I'm going to ask my doc if she'll transfer all 3 eggs on the next cycle and we can be done with it. I don't expect it to work (Sorry The Secret ... having trouble being positive today) but I'm just ready to use the eggs, get it over with and move on with my life.

We apparently werent meant to have more than one child, and I'm just glad that the universe decided to bless us with her before it started smiting us.

I probably won't be blogging for a while. Please don't take it personally. I'll miss all of you and be reading your blogs from time to time when I can.

The emotional rollercoaster of IVF

2010-10-21T09:02:00.002-05:00

Although I read somewhere that I shouldn't do it, I took a home pregnancy test yesterday. I got a big fat negative, which as you can imagine put me in an awful mood. Then I read on a fertility clinic's Web site that "many of women have come into the office crying on the day of their blood test because they got a BFN on a HPT only to find out a few hours later that they were indeed pregnent." The site said something about HPTs can produce a false positive or negative when you're going through IVF because of all the drugs in your system, etc. This made me feel better.

But today, I went into my doctor's office to take the blood test, told the nurse what I'd done and she frowned and said, "we'll that's not good because those test are usually very accurate."

I'm trying not to let it bother me. Whatever happens happens right? Only I don't want to go through this again. I'm tired and burned out. But I have 3 frozen eggs left. How can I do nothing with them? Ugh, I really hate all of these. I'm having one of those days where I just want to move away and start over as a different person.

Working at home and waiting for "The Test"

2010-10-20T07:29:00.000-05:00

I was given permission to work at home full-time last week and today is my first "real" day of doing so. Can I just tell you how much I LOVE working at home in my PJs? It is so much fun : )

Test day is tomorrow and I'm feeling good about it ... I'm pretty sure the test will reveal that there are two cute little girls in there just waiting to join my family : )

Have a great Wednesday.